Scent Detective Pillows

'That strange smell, George.. is FRESH AIR!'

'I don't care if you can smell it - there isn't any more beef jerky in my pocket.'

"How long will the 'previously owned' smell last?"

"Uh-oh,...she smells another dog in my portfolio..."

"Is that Penny I smell? It's been so long... Hold on, is this Dougie? No way! That crazy mongrel, he is nuts! I remember that time he chased those kids on skateboards all the way down Cliff Street. Wait, is this Rosie?!"

"Dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, onion bagel with Nutella and cream cheese, dirt, dirt, dirt..."

'Nothing beats the smell of wild urine.'

'I say we back off: I can't smell fear at all...'

'Nice aftershave, I'm getting cinnamon, mango, and a fresh citrus top note...'

'It's nice to meet you Otto. Your scent precedes you.'

'Dad I'm getting gym kit, sweat, skunk - and girls. Girls on the nose.'

Dog's Aromatherapy

Men find this shampoo irresistible. It's called 'Gee, Your Hair Smells Like A New Car'.

'I work two jobs and have three kids. At the end of the day I am exhausted. Do you have anything that is not sexy and just smells good.'

"I want something that will make Richard Burton sit up and take notice."

I'm at the shrub with the empty bag of pretzels we sniffed last week. Where are you?

"Eww - that whale's breath smells awful!" "You could use a breath mint yourself, lady!"

Canine Scentipede

'Have you no common scents?!'

"It's smells so good, but why do you have to wait so long?!"

"But everyone else gets to market their own personal scent!"

"Finally a perfume store my husband will enjoy visiting."

'Six different chefs in six months and they still can't make a decent broth!'

"I'm getting cinnamon, brandy, nutmeg, a hint of Alsatian."

"Do you smell something?"

"Good news. It wasn't a toxic chemical leak. It was an old pizza in your kid's room."

'No, that's not my shaving lotion. We've been burning cow chips in the wood stove.'

I'm getting an ample full taste... I'm getting whimsical... I'm getting 'red'

'Is that the smell of fear? Or is it just Meatloaf Monday in the cafeteria?'

The Huge-Underground Vat theory of why all wonton soup tastes exactly the same.

In case of overcrowding in the ER break glass.

Pheromones.

'It's for the girl who's in a hurry.'

"If you could live your life all over again, what dead animals would you roll in?"

'This is a very powerful perfume -- there's a ten-day waiting period.'