Scent Comedian Gifts

"Do you smell what I smell?

Shampoo.

"I haven't started playing the violin. I hide my vegetables in here!"

"I told you. . . use your inside miming."

'Darn those neighbors. A cookie's missing.'

"Grapes, Rye, Malt... I got into this through my vegetarianism."

'For Sale by Neighbor'

Ventriloquism For Beginners.

"How embarrassing, I'm literally glued to the television."

"You guys need to #@%!% fight harder. You're all #@%!% wimps! You call yourselves a #@%!% army? Bull%#!*!"

"Is it my imagination, or does our use of correction fluid increase as people's teeth get whiter?"

'I'm just not keen.'

...she found out that the basque he'd bought wasn't for her.

'Why are ghosts bad at telling lies?'

"Are you walking the dog? We live on the third floor!"

Jerry had a difficult time coming up with cartoon ideas over the noise his dogs made. '...so then the cat says, 'No, thanks. I'll clean it myself.' 'Ha,ha! Yeah, that's a good one,Phil!'

Right, like you're the first shrink to recommend aromatherapy.

The Last of the Passenger Pigeons

Deadly Sins Dept. Envy. Lust. Sloth. Pride. Greed. Wrath. Gluttony. At times it seems like it should be, but "oversharing" is not a deadly sin.

School of mime has notice on board: 'No talking in class.'

Triceratops - "A Turtleneck? You couldn't get me a shirt with buttons?

Pantomimes Are Lousy Painters. . .

Uncomfortably open Mike night.

Manhole Warning

"I'm going green, too. I'm finally going to mow the lawn."

'Are you paying attention Eurasia?' 'Sorry, I was drifting.'

Mime Fights: 'I think you broke my jaw!"

The woman next door bought a coat exactly like mine!

"Sniff, sniff, NICE! Smells like butt!"

I just wish he'd warn us when he's going to have an out-of-body-odor experience.

'Let me know when you feel wonderfully refreshed by the fragrances of botanicals grown in water.'

'Dont worry; that's not a ketchup stain. It's just blood.'

Deodorant for Compost.

Marcel disagreed with the judge, but it was a mute point.

"It's so cold, I don't even feel stupid wearing this hat."