Scarcity Sommelier T-Shirts

Scrounge

'Have you tried our home-made wine?'

"Can you recommend a wine that would compliment a divorce?"

'Would you care to see our wine list, water list, soda list, tea list, coffee list, single malt scotch list, or beer list?'

"I'm getting cinnamon, brandy, nutmeg, a hint of Alsatian."

'Been toying with Bordeaux futures again, have we?'

"Boss, the customers can hear you cackling maniacally." "I've topped myself, minion." "It's not enough to run ads that tout our own excellence: we have to simultaneously tear down the competition." "Behold: my masterpiece." "'100 percent of those who drink Coffee King’s coffee will die.'" "Best part is it’s technically true."

"House red, sir?"

Wine-tasting Tour.

"I understand he's in aroma therapy.''

"Not bad for prison Hooch. It lacks body, but I ain't complaining. The last time someone did, he added one."

"Ewww – Cabernet with tuna fish?"

"Which one had the health benefits in it?"

"Red with meant, white with fish. . . but it all goes great with chocolate!"

Advanced course at the Wine Appreciation Institute in my house.

'Close enough, the one on your right is the red. Congratulation! You're our new wine critic.'

'Oops! Almost spilt some in the food.'

You should cut the cord. I did it years ago. What do you mean? I canceled cable. I get the same stuff I used to see for much less, by streaming Netflix, Hulu and Amazon through a Roku box

'...it's a spirited, yet lightly delicate little stock that shows signs of aging into exquisite maturity...'

Billy strip: wine improves with age.

'It's a remarkably accessible wine - £2.99 a bottle from Lidl.'

'Why do I choose to paint with wine?--The clean-up.'

Boy turning down pudding because it spoils his wine

'So I gave him back the ring and tore up his picture. And I'm pouring out the '61 Chateau Margaux he gave me, too - but, you know, into a glass.'

"Oh merlot, you have betrayed me with your false promises to treasure and nourish my heart, when all along you were plotting to sent me to an early grave!"