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Royal Knits

Squeezing the Free Press.

'To most people, 1984 is just a novel; around here it's our instruction manual.'

Summer 2000: Children stumble upon the remains of Linda Tripp's old head.

Donald Trump Playing Golf With Hair On Fire

"He's the chief watchdog, who watches over all the other watchdogs—but this must be his night off."

'There's too much corruption in the third world.'

The signing of Ben Franklin's non-disclosure agreement.

'I was hounded out of office!', 'That explains the smell.'

Money laundering - shows money flowing out of US vault.

"Sorry, we don't hire people with a history of whistle blowing."

'-Not THE Queen Vic?'

Young boy thinks he's spotted an old rocker.

Fifty shades of Leveson.

"I'm not an Antony Gormley, I am Antony Gormley."

“Son, that… ‘some this will all be yours’… is now!”

JET (Part I)

"So finally, the liarbird flew off to the lucrative world of tell-all books, management consultancy and after-dinner speaking..."

"Maps to stars' rehab centers."

You have a major fiasco at 10:30, followed by a shocking scandal at 2:15.

"What's the best way to break up a marriage?"

"I was at a party with SO many famous people, I was the only one there I'd never heard of..!"

"And remember, people, it's better to light a scandal than to curse the darkness!"

"It's the American version, type in 'Adultery' and it comes out with 'Inappropriate relationship' "

The Robert Mueller Rosetta Stone

Mr Jefferson Brick Proposes a Toast at the 'Rowdy Journal' Offices

"We're going public with our stock AND your philandering."

"Sir, your new campaign manager is here."

The Original Gossip Columns