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Royal Knits

Squeezing the Free Press.

'To most people, 1984 is just a novel; around here it's our instruction manual.'

Summer 2000: Children stumble upon the remains of Linda Tripp's old head.

News and Magazines. Celebrity gossip. Sports scandals. Political bickering. We're out of the "information age" and well into the "too much information age"!

Donald Trump Playing Golf With Hair On Fire

"He's the chief watchdog, who watches over all the other watchdogs—but this must be his night off."

The signing of Ben Franklin's non-disclosure agreement.

'I was hounded out of office!', 'That explains the smell.'

'There's too much corruption in the third world.'

Money laundering - shows money flowing out of US vault.

"Sorry, we don't hire people with a history of whistle blowing."

'-Not THE Queen Vic?'

Young boy thinks he's spotted an old rocker.

Fifty shades of Leveson.

"So finally, the liarbird flew off to the lucrative world of tell-all books, management consultancy and after-dinner speaking..."

"I'm not an Antony Gormley, I am Antony Gormley."

JET (Part I)

“Son, that… ‘some this will all be yours’… is now!”

John Barth wrote "Everyone is necessarily the hero of his own life story." That he did, little buddy. But what if a person spends most of his life watching tv, films, Youtube, Instagram, Facebook, etc? What if my -- I mean, this person's -- life story is watching other people's life stories? Does that make other people the hero of this person's story? Sometimes I don't know where I end and Kanye begins. That'd be somewhere around Kim Kardashian.

"Maps to stars' rehab centers."

"And Rooney's stretchered off the pitch after managing to stick his foot in his mouth..."

You have a major fiasco at 10:30, followed by a shocking scandal at 2:15.

The Robert Mueller Rosetta Stone

"What's the best way to break up a marriage?"

"We're going public with our stock AND your philandering."

Celebrity Gavin Henson

Mr Jefferson Brick Proposes a Toast at the 'Rowdy Journal' Offices

'Oh, I'm just writing a tender memoir or my long ago affair with J.F.K...it's filled with pathos and sad wishful longing...'

"I was at a party with SO many famous people, I was the only one there I'd never heard of..!"

"And remember, people, it's better to light a scandal than to curse the darkness!"

Trump Lashes Out at John Bolton

"Doesn't look good. The boss just changed his Facebook status to 'Fleeing the country with hookers and compnay 401k plan.'"

"It's the American version, type in 'Adultery' and it comes out with 'Inappropriate relationship' "

"Sir, your new campaign manager is here."