Scam Stopper Pillows

Maynard inadvertently goes phishing.

Woman crying with happiness.

"Since he's been a plagiarist, committed perjury and runs a Ponzi scheme, trust can be an issue."

"....and then it turned out that the e-mail I ignored that I got from the Nigerian bank offering me £200 million was REAL!"

'While these products may not result in weight loss, they will result in credibility loss.'

"You have been specially selected to upload your bank details. Offer ends midnight."

Ask Sadie

"Hello, I am a Nigerian Prince and I need your help!!! Please send me $500 and your bank routing number. You will rewarded with 10% of 12.7 million dollars and my undying friendship. Best wishes, Prince John Barron."

Don't put your daughter on the stage Mrs Worthington.

"Here's my wallet, my phone, the key to the safe and an application form for your so-called 'mind control device.'"

'Your performance review is next Tuesday. You're allowed to bring a guitar and up to three backup singers.'

'I find if I'm the first one in and the first one out, Ponzi schemes can be very lucrative.'

"Didn't anyone ever warn you about opening an e-mail from someone you don't know?"

'You said to come back once I got my act together.'

'Mind if I wear it to the door? I want to test audience reaction.'

I didn't dress this way to go unnoticed

"Tonight's performance has been canceled, because the star of our show has decided that musicals are stupid."

"I don't know man. It sounds a lot like a pyramid scheme to me."

"To verify you are the person who answered the phone, May I have your social security number and a major credit card."

'To be honest I generally only deal with clients by phone or email.'

Berlitz guide to Scamese

'Don't be afraid, the speculators won't take away your savings. I'll be faster than they are!'

'Looks like the work of the infamous international frequent flyer burglar - Better dust for carbon finger prints!'

'I need a small, temporary tax hike - I found a great investment opportunity in Nigeria.'

Amateur Spam.

Mic Drop

"...and don't fall for that trunk enlargement scam."

'Damn! I think the FCA have rumbled us.'

Sir, bad news. I don't like getting bad news. A new radio program called Ask Sadie is getting huge ratings. Do I own it? That's the bad news. I see. Time to buy Ask Sadie. Queue sinister music. Can you guess?

"I'm getting really tired of this cancel culture."

'If it weren't for baseball, this whole thing could have ended much differently.'

Policeman painting vandals with 'anti-vandal paint' instead of painting the walls.

'Investing in a company whose website is Ponzischeme.come would raise red flags for me.'

Mic drop

Suspicious Person Ban.