Scale Skipper T-Shirts

"The universe is expanding! Of course I'm expanding too!"

'Nothing impacts my lifestyle choices more than a veterinarian with a scale.'

fat woman passed her handbag to husband before getting weighed.

A private jet takes off

Rock - see you in a million years!

'Don't be so dramatic and get into my office!'

Remote controlled car on a boat.

Movie Awards. That movie always comes alone and never stays for the after-party. It's an independent film.

Captain looks out of a porthole and notices that the ship is sinking.

'Just in case there is an accident.'

"Hold on, hun... I'm just saying, losing four ounces in a month is better than gaining four ounces in a month!"

Woman weighing herself while holding balloons

"Double whammy. My weight now exceeds my credit score."

"Honestly, sweetheart, they haven't brought out a little Ellen MacArthur set. As soon as they do daddy will get you one."

Scales

Fat man on scales.

Joe's Weight Gain: 'Hey, Victoria...I like this diet you told me about yesterday...I just lost 2 more while we've been talking.'

'Will we ever get a morning-after pill for over-eating?'

'I told my teacher that I won't be returning to school. I'm trying out for a pro basketball team, and her services are no longer required.'

Cathy decides to remain standing on the scale until she loses weight.

"Sure, I'll give you a second opinion. I don't think you should stay home from school either."

'I'm afraid I can't accept that excuse Mrs Hart. It isn't possible to inhale second hand calories.'

I only weigh 95 kilograms...That's 210...in pounds!

Fat lady standing on a weighing machine. Its print out says 'I Quit!'.

'It's just one thing after another. The minute they let you out of school, the garden starts to produce.'

'The other foot also Mrs Zipsky!'

Overweight Man With Skipping Rope - To Be Taken 3 Times A Day.

'I've already marked you absent, Eddie. Go home.'

'I hear you played football instead of going to school.'

"Ya know, no mask or hand sanitizer can spare you from spring fever."

Shut Yer Yapper and be Happy, Loser! There's a ton of so-called simple self-help books. The five most important questions: 7 habits of highly effective people: 7 steps to living at your fullest potential. Too many steps! She's going to be filthy rich.

The skipper never wears a hat that fits. He's always been afraid of cap-sizing!

'I want you to lose 50 pounds, and then tell me how you did it.'

'Bed rest and no school for a week. Boy, I like this doctor!'

'The Principal suspended me-- School is the only place in the world where you can get time off for bad behavior.'