Savings Surgeon Pillows

"I have to warn you, this procedure will be painful, particularly to your wallet."

"Work hard. Save money. Work hard. Save money. Work hard. Save money. Work hard. Save money. Yay!!! I died rich!"

"We were able to retire 6 years early by canceling cable & eliminating anything fun."

"I just..."

Investing your savings

Roasting the Moneybox

'Greenspan said today the alert staus for the possible interest rate has been reduced from orange to yellow.'

'As you go through life, always remember that money isn't everything...Health benefits and stock options are also very important.'

Lemonade - $500 A Glass! 'Yes, my prices high, but how else am I supposed to buy a Boulevart M109R? Certainly not on my allowance.'

"It failed the stress test."

"You never actually own a pension pot - you merely look after it for the next government."

"The time has come for some tough cost-cutting decisions, and I'm forced to ask myself, do we really need a bass?"

'My piggy bank charged shaking fees.'

Man breaks piggy bank to find another smaller piggy bank inside.

"Good news. Your medical prognosis is right in sync with your retirement portfolio."

Welcome all to the monthly gathering of Tightwads United. Hi there. Hello. Hey. On tonight's agenda: Dumpster diving, coupon clipping, and a special lecture. How to carpool while always getting the other person to drive. I'm like a god. Woohoo!! Yeah!!! Clap clap clap clap clap clap clap. Tightwads United.

"And this financial plan is specifically designed for people who know their retirement -- IF they get one -- won't be half as good as their parents' retirement, and are really steamed about it!"

Man feeding fish banks with money, not food.

"Do you have an Isa?"

'The sick economy isn't why J.B.has cut back on spending. He always was a tightwad.'

'Are you good with decimals? Our certificate of deposit is currently paying 0.025%.'

'It may seem we're sinking deeper into debt, but really we're just experiencing a quarter of negative growth.'

"You want to withdraw your money? There's a fee for that."

'Damn! I was saving that for a rainy day!'

'They are like family...they're my family of retirement funds.'

Nest Egg

"Let's just say the value of your account has gone from jumbo to fun size."

The Mattress Savings Bank

"With the rises in fuel, food and mortgage I'm going to have to put in some overtime."

"Safe FDIC insured, guaranteed 2.65% APY...check out our new Emotional Support CDs."

'Sub lease' and 'Executive suite' putting money into a smug piggy bank

Rolling Over a Pension.

'I already have money. I need advice on how to keep it and make it last.'

Most piglets are suckling, while one has walked away with coin from mother's back.

"I didn't just store my acorns - I invested them in a high performance stock portfolio."