Cost-saving Guru Pillows

'What's the smallest budget you can manage on?'

"Is this to make me feel bad for not getting you that laptop?"

'We should buy London and ship it to the States!'

"You're a fine one to talk about my spending!"

"Your expense account ain't what it used to be. There's not enough money on your card to cover the $5.35."

Investing your savings

Roasting the Moneybox

Smart card.

"Alright, alright! I'll stop buying the cheap stuff, OK?"

"This guy might like fiddling with numbers, Dad – but is he any good at sums?"

'I couldn't imagine bringing a child into the current fiscal-cliffy world.'

Blowing dust off an order book.

"The good news is that profits are up 76%. . . The BAD news is that costs are up 83%."

"I know we said we would get you a laptop.. but this will have to do until business gets better."

'Phone for help? Are you mad? Have you any idea how much it costs to use a mobile abroad?'

"No, unfortunately I won't be raising your debt ceiling."

Small Businesses Go Under.

BMA criticises 'Black Hole' of NHS IT spending

Janet always was ahead of the curve...she outsourced herself.

"Do you know that we saved a ton of money on legal fees by being more ethical?"

"His department suffered the death of a thousand cuts."

'If I'm going to do an effective job of reducing costs, I'm going to need a bigger budget.'

Garage Sale (sign originally read 'Garbage' sale).

'The diet books really worked for me...I bought so many I couldn't afford any food.'

Budget Munchies

'The legislation HR2109 would increase state aid to education. Ask not for whom the bell tolls. It tolls for you.'

'This charge is for the office visit, this charge is for blood work, and this charge just about pays off the doc's school loan.'

'So, who's first?'

"As company chairman I'd like to thank you all for participating in the evenings entertainment and saving me �4000."

'And finally, there's option three, a classic business model that would reduce our marketing, supply-chain and production expenses by 85 percent!' '

"He's not our founder. He just found us the most tax loopholes."

"There's no getting away from the numbers....only by forgetting holidays, giving up drink, the cinema, meals out and socialising...will we be able to afford any quality of life when we retire."

'We can't cut out the middle man. With the government in the picture now we are the middle man.'

"Boss, I have a suggestion for you that's win-win. It'll save you thousands of dollars in health insurance premiums... If you pay to have me cryogenically frozen and then thawed every other day, I'll get to live to be 180, and you'll get an employee who's young and productive for the rest of your life."