Sauciness Enthusiasts Pillows

'I can never open those sachets of sauce.' (Thinks: I think she's falling for my saucy schmooze!'

"Them's cat-fightin' words, Arlin!"

'Careful, the plate is really hot.'

"Every good scene in that move was in the coming attractions...why did we even bother to come watch it?"

Clown has hit wife with custard pie. Marriage guidance counsellor says: 'Does he end every argument like this?'

'Sometimes laughter is the best medicine!'

'The resume is handwritten because I am not very good with computers' - The LAST thing you should say in ANY job interview.

'Ok lads, this is no laughing matter...!'

Balloon Boy

"It's my emotional support animal."

Entertainers - Clowns and Jugglers. No Fools Kept in this van Overnight.

Sexhibition of Old masters of Erotic Art.

'Roger has his heart set on Texas, for the chili cook - off season!'

'Would YOU polish your shoes to such a high shine if you were planning suicide, Inspector?'

It's not catching, is it? - The doctor hates to catch things.

'Until we find work, we might want to consider trading in our car for something smaller.'

"I hope you like your curry hot."

"Wow, this comedy channel really is hi-def."

Scared shadow.

"The grossest thing you can imagine is being shoved feet first into an 'icky' spiderweb...are you kidding me?"

Kink

He's got a gun!

'If you painted on a smile instead of that frown you might make more balloon sales...'

'Oh, it's different alright...but I'm not sure how much demand there'll be for a Noam Chomsky impersonator.'

'He just learned to count last week and last night he invented 69'

Earl thought 'Take Your Daughter to Work Day,' was very dumb. 'How about hot dog ice cream?! Or a hot dog already chewed, saving me time by not chewing it?!'

'Do you every get the feeling you're being washed?'

The comfortable silence left the room the moment Mr. Giggles walked through the door.

'They say laughter is the best medicine, which is great! That's about all our new health care plan covers now.'

"There are essentially four basic forms for a joke."

Shy Man at Nudist Beach

'Colin's gps was to prove useless in finding maureens 'G' spot.'

Catch of the Day: Flu, Strep Throat, Cold, Hepatitis