Satirical Writer Prints

Rodney Krebs: Class Valedictorian or G.P.A. whore?

'It's terminal? Fantastic - I was worried my blog was going to loose its edge.'

'Think you've got it bad? My brother's playing for a team that was just bought out by a company that makes feminine hygiene products.'

"To gain free publicity, corporate wants to turn out office into a reality show. For ratings, we'll need you to all to start hating and fighting each other."

"I'm expert at sniffing out blame."

"Third quarter numbers were good after we cut our global workforce three to two."

'According to our statistics department, 78.93 of the statistics they produce are worthless.'

'Our admission policy is now simplicity itself. If you have the tuition, you're in.'

Indian rajah rowing elephant in a monsoon flood.

Wolf Danny With "Random""The work must be tantamount to mayhem. Making an insatiable public confused, indifferent, annoyed—this is the premise on which rests my deliberately vacuous oeuvre."

"Too 'Book of Genesis'?"

"Gee, thanks pal."

A disgruntled employee chain-sawes hois boss's desk in two.Boss says:'Alright Smith, I'll stop referring to the employees as 'oopsy daisies'.'

'Call me immediately if there's any serious side effects so I can notify my lawyer.'

Welcome to Mauritius Home of the Dodo Burger

"Is it me, or is Jasper Johns a genius?" "Über-genius, Larry. Über!"

"I chose to stand up to special interest groups!"

Man Eating Minimalist Meal

"This cruise is getting a very stern review from me, I can tell you."

All Harold's aptitude test showed is that he had an aptitude for taking tests.

Non-Creative Writing, Also Known as Plagiarism 101.

Reverse psychology

'I don't think the employees like me.'

"I see the White House didn't lower the flag to half staff."

The World's Biggest Book Club

"So, like, don't make any big plans for this weekend."

'Mr. Dunbarter, your fantasy that 'greed is good' may be a case of economic insanity.'

'He doesn't like people walking in - try crawling.'

"That's not a knife crime initiative. That's a knife crime initiative!"

"International best seller! It's just a squirrel."

"I'm starting my own movement—Occupy Fifty-Seventh Street."

'Fyodor Dostoevsky sends weeks describing Alexy Karamazov's quest for a white whale, and then discards the entire chapter."

'Stop emailing me, I am standing right here.'

Admissions test for the Danbury Institute of Philosophy

'I'd go back if I were you.'