Satirical Speaker Prints

'And when all else fails...'

"I propose a break from the office speak and two minutes of random profanity."

The Department of Really Stupid Ideas: 'Most people think they just appear out of thin air! But the truth is, there's a great deal of very hard work involved!'

"She's fine. She just needs some tofu."

"You're fired."

"And just like that, e got rid of Florida."

'In its new 'spirit of evenhandedness,' the U. S. Government today sent troops to occupy all foreign countries....'

"Third quarter numbers were good after we cut our global workforce three to two."

"I'm expert at sniffing out blame."

"'I don't want war'. . . well, wither our translation program is broke or this president has a strange kind of humor!"

'According to our statistics department, 78.93 of the statistics they produce are worthless.'

Torturing the English Language

'Our admission policy is now simplicity itself. If you have the tuition, you're in.'

Indian rajah rowing elephant in a monsoon flood.

Wolf Danny With "Random""The work must be tantamount to mayhem. Making an insatiable public confused, indifferent, annoyed—this is the premise on which rests my deliberately vacuous oeuvre."

Trump pardons

We Tenatively Oppose War on Strictly Procedural Grounds

UK border controls relaxed.

"Gee, thanks pal."

No-Work Orange

'This country is on the road to ruin.' - 'Well, it'll never get there in this traffic.'

"Too 'Book of Genesis'?"

A disgruntled employee chain-sawes hois boss's desk in two.Boss says:'Alright Smith, I'll stop referring to the employees as 'oopsy daisies'.'

'Call me immediately if there's any serious side effects so I can notify my lawyer.'

Forlornaments: Tools to drain individual and team spirit

Ghostwriting the Bible

"...And do you Sean Spicer take Kelly Anne Conway..." "The marriage of alternative facts"

The Grasshopper's Feast: A Prophetic Vision

"The best part is that we got hell to pay for it."

CIA report

Bookstore, the Politically Incorrect Guide to You.

"I chose to stand up to special interest groups!"

"Is it me, or is Jasper Johns a genius?" "Über-genius, Larry. Über!"

"Congratulations, Trumpism. It's ot often we initiate a new horseman."

"This cruise is getting a very stern review from me, I can tell you."