Satirical Swimmer T-Shirts

'Your Bill is crooked.'

"Norman's really into wild paddling."

'You're SURE that you've played water polo before?'

Fidel Castro as a lifeguard.

"I don't think he's wearing that snorkel because he wants to swim with us. Especially, since it's lunch time."

"Speedo limit 30 waist"

"Hey buddy move over! This is the fast lane!"

'That's what I call riding the barrel!'

'Ok, that's fine! You have dibs on the big one. I prefer the skinnier ones anyway. They struggle more vigorously which, I think, enhances the taste.'

Take-A-Break

'Synchronised swimming.'

Non-Smoking and Non-Urinating End at Swimming Pool

Surfing the Brown Water.

Oh Bugger !

"I wish to complain about the chlorine level in the swimming pool. . ."

"May I recommend Deborah, she has a perfect blend of Merlot and chocolate."

"I see you're still lacking in confidence!"

Sardine funeral

And today's winner of a special place in Hell is...Guys who wear bikini style bathing suits to the beach...

Myrtle learns a fatal lesson about swimming during a certain time of the month.

"I think he could be the real thing - he's walking on the water!"

'The dominant buck and the alpha wold meet at midfield for the coin toss and this hunt is about to get under way.'

Superdome: Now Playing Har Bowl.

"Down the end and second on your left."

"Yeah, I know I'm diving at the shallow end."

The Anti-Gun Lobby Olympics.

'All I really wanted was a swim!'

101 uses of a dead cat: tennis racket

"The Americans must be at the end of their tether. They're sending in Californian Surf Nazis!"