Satirical Spender Gifts

Pound sign in a stained glass window of a church.

The new ATMs.

They get into debt so fast these days...

Pirates at the mall.

What if retail stores behaved like websites?

'Oh that's weird! i just had a shiver go down my wallet. My wife must have just bought something.'

Seven deadly sins shopping plaza

"What would you suggest to fill the dark, empty spaces in my soul?"

"I recommend you invest in oil. Prices are down now, but auto leaks are up."

'Today the Yuan rose against the pork belly, the chicken beak, the eel, the wanton, and the egg noodle.'

"Once you break through the plastic clamshell and blister packs, there won't be any packaging left!"

"The chef will accommodate gluten-free requests, but only with a note from your doctor."

'How do I know if it's seaworthy?'

I spent it all under the silly notion that it was all mine.

Med. Soc Sec. Can we agree on anything to reduce the deficit other than a bake sale?

"So the only way to save the economy is to spend what we haven't got - plus ca change - moin ca change!"

'You must know my kids...they spend like there's no tomorrow.'

Without telling me, you invested my salary in The Infant Restaurant Critic. It's a funny story, actually … Weeks earlier, the cafe got a visit from a baby whose screaming and yelling can make or break the restaurant. If the baby eats the food, the eatery gets a good review online. If not, ouch. It's not Yelp, more like yell. Or whine. But like so many subjective concepts, this one can be corrupted. It turned out that the entrepreneurs behind The Infant Restaurant Critic were willing to compromis

A sign outside the "Museum of Modern Gift Items" reads "T-shirts of the Masters Sale".

EU money addiction

Jeb Can Ficks It

"I live for twenty four hours. How can I fund a 401 K?"

"The Scrimpshaws have finally decided to deposit their savings."

Poor Holiday Gift Choice...The Lucifer 2500, Talking GPS Device.

"So if I'm to understand you correctly, this 'engineered athletic footwear' with its 'extended torsion system' is also a sneaker?"

"Footwear's upstairs, Sir"

Waiter, there's a fly drowning in my soup. Try mouth-to-mouth resuscitation.

"If there are more than two people in front of you - we will open another superstore."

'When will you learn? You're only paying for the label!'

"Classic ballcap $79.95. White, black, red or blue. Adjustable. One size fits all."

"Sometimes I like to browse the men's section just to screw with the patriarchy."

'Ooops, wrong door!'

Mail-Order Yard Sale

80 Million Euros for a football player.

Your Flexible Fiend.