Satirical Sermon-goer Pillows

The wages of sin is death! 'Boy, sinners must have a TERRIBLE union!'

The new piece of the armor of God, "the facemask of fearlessness."

"Freshly ground pepper?"

"I've heard great things about your church. Thought I would visit and say keep up the good work."

"...and in conclusion..."

"Since we now have a leaking roof problem, it might be a good time to schedule baptisms."

"Collections were down. We had to get creative."

'That's GRAVEN images, not GRAVY images.'

First Church - New Policy: To avoid lawsuits, Rev. Loomis' sermons no longer mention sinners by name.

IOUs In The Church Collection Plate

"And the Lord he sayeth 'doest thou thinkest I knoweth not who sniggereth at the back there?'"

'Nice show but you could use some cartoons.'

"Instagram . . . weAPPon of mass distraction."

'Still no money, but a lot more IOU's than usual!'

Chruch member about preacher: 'Pastor Woodsley has old fashioned power point.'

"What - no alcohol, no women, no swearing? I want you to say 950 prayers as punishment for wasting your life!"

Pastor of Muppets

"His sermon last Sunday, 'The Meek Shall Inherit the Earth,' had them rolling in the aisles."

Priests Play Good Priest, Bad Priest

"Reading the Sunday Funnies 'religiously' does not count as worship."

A virtue of vicars

Minister's File

"No matter how badly you have sinned, you don't have to worry about losing your coverage!"

"Before I start today's sermon let's take 5 minutes to view the highlights reel from the last 3 Sundays..."

'The Bishop called - he'd like to see a copy of that sermon you gave last Sunday.'

'Today's sermon may seem a little incoherent -- my 'Preach-o-Mat' program crashed.'

Man in church sees sign: Thank you for not yawning.

"You may need to pep up your sermons, sir. Some of the members are requesting WIFI in the pews."

Church: 'We reserve the right to refuse salvation to anyone.'

"Is your church up for the 'Best Media Coverage' award?"

"...and Lord, we thank You for blessing Farmer Finkel with an abundant bean harvest...and thus our new pews."

'As it's Sunday there will be 30 minutes browsing before the service begins.'