Satirical Sense Of Humor Gifts

'Sale: all the stuff nobody else wants.'

Complaints department is a mirror.

Yes, you sir, with a question

"I never thought you'd solicit bribes, Mr. Boyd."

Pentagon Focus Groups

'How is this for a headline: Climate change denial blogs cause further global warming.'

'You see a problem, I see a challenge. Let's quit whining over knife crime and start taxing knives!'

"It's called 'A Package Holiday'"

Justitia, the goddess of justice, is picking a dollar bill from the ground.

'How much is it doc?' 'Fif...fif...fif...seventy five dollars.'

'I suppose privatizing the legal system really was the last straw.'

Pre-owned text messages.

"We've now got a higher approval rating than the media."

The Anti-Vaxer

'According to our statistics department, 78.93 of the statistics they produce are worthless.'

Wolf Danny With "Random""The work must be tantamount to mayhem. Making an insatiable public confused, indifferent, annoyed—this is the premise on which rests my deliberately vacuous oeuvre."

Indian rajah rowing elephant in a monsoon flood.

"Gee, thanks pal."

Don't swallow. I've lost a contact.

"Of course you can resign Ferguson. How would you like to buy back your freedom? Cash, credit card or easy payments?"

Welcome to Mauritius Home of the Dodo Burger

"This cruise is getting a very stern review from me, I can tell you."

"Is it me, or is Jasper Johns a genius?" "Über-genius, Larry. Über!"

Non-Creative Writing, Also Known as Plagiarism 101.

"So, like, don't make any big plans for this weekend."

Trump

'He doesn't like people walking in - try crawling.'

"That's not a knife crime initiative. That's a knife crime initiative!"

'Mr. Dunbarter, your fantasy that 'greed is good' may be a case of economic insanity.'

'I don't think the employees like me.'

"I see the White House didn't lower the flag to half staff."

My other car has a bumper sticker that says this on it too.

"Do Mr. Reaper, do you have health insurance?"

"I'm starting my own movement—Occupy Fifty-Seventh Street."

Looks Like They're Finally Renovating The Toilet