Satirical Science Enthusiast Pillows

'The bad news is you have disease unknown to medical science - the good news is I'm going to name it after me.'

"We need a product that works like aspirin, but is a lot more expensive to buy."

'It took us 12 years to genetically engineer him. We are going to make millions!'

'Maybe I should have tipped.'

"It does have a side effect. You'll faint when I tell you how much it will cost to produce."

'Enjoy your meal! We grow everything ourselves!'

'Intelligent Design? My arse!'

'I couldn't think of a science fair project so I just re-invented the wheel.'

"The following program was made possible by fluctuations in the random chaos of the Universe...."

'According to creation mathematicians, all of Euclid's theories were originally found etched into rocks.'

"Up here, light is neither a particle nor a wave. It's a liquid."

The Food Chain

Einstein develops his theories that time is relative while ordering at a fast food restaurant.

"Walking erect is very trendy now."

"Lori, go ahead and toss in 'Lolita.' Now, what's next?" "We'll need more lighter fluid." "'The Lottery' is devils work." "We must protect the children." "Book burning club"

"It started with a simple case of peer-review."

"Do you remember when we used to put FOOD in food?"

"This may surprise some of your viewers, but I didn't actually want to go into the box."

"I'm going to get you fired."

I told you we were late!

'Still think nuclear testing is harmless?'

Strainspotting

"Can you stop complaining about historical inaccuracy and try to enjoy yourself for one minute?"

"The blood test will take a couple of days, but I'm pretty sure it's just ketchup."

'I know it's controversial, but my calculations prove beyond doubt that a nod is BETTER than a wink.'

Publisher. "The Laws of Motion " is a little dry for a title, Mr. Newton. How about something catchier like "When Push Comes to Shove"?

"What do you mean blood sucking pest? You're the one who invited me into your life!"

"I have good news and bad news about your cat, Dr Schrodinger..."

"And now, speaking against the theory of evolution..."

'Einstein's blackboard as he left it'

"True, a salary cap on Wall Street may limit the talent pool, but, on the other hand, if they get any more talented we'll all be broke."

'As you can see,we run a completely paperless office.'

Brian surgeon squeezing brains from a tube.

"Not guilty by reason of genetic determinism, Your Honor."

"They've got me doing cosmetics research."