Satirical Musings Gifts

Young girl asking a boy what he owns before they can be married

'Never, Ever...believe everything you read.'

'OK, team, let's review: when the arrow goes down, it means...?

Beckett for Beginners: "Waiting for Thumbkin"

Bureaucracy gone mad!

'Probably giving evidence at some sort of industrial tribunal....heh!'

CHANNEL THIRTEEN TAKES ON THE NETWORKS

'Upon further review, the pig did not have control of the ball prior to being eaten...'

"How do I know God is not real? For the same reason I know people on TV can't see me."

"I hate weddings. They make me feel a momentary lapse of cynicism."

The Modern Damocles -

The Unknown Philosopher, who first realised life is no picnic.

"Can you hear me now?"

'Our Anesthesiologist resigned recently.'

ENNUI...(smiley face).

"Maybe I will and maybe I won't - You're not prejudiced against transvestites, are you?"

Gogglebollox: Our Queen at 90

Bureau of Missing Door Knobs

"Actually, we will replace you."

'Transistional Pope. Is that nice way of saying they hope he doesn't live too long?'

Well done, Harris. That's one of the straightest paperclips I've ever seen.

Lose the Iraq War.

Art Vandalism

'Bad enough they always ask what the worst case scenario is. Must they always look so damned happy asking it?'

"And now a special report from 'News 4' Science Editor, Dr. Frank Lovell, on how to remove your own gallbladder."

"Fenwick, do you see any mistletoe on my coattail?"

"Any family history of stroke? Diabetes? Bankruptcy?"

'Never to be seen again!"

TV SALES, 'Will the violence chip block out Sean Hannity?'

'A role model? Yes, I suppose he was. Everywhere he went, people would say 'That's Bill Fenton... You don't want to be that guy!''

Attention: Due to a lack of interest we have dropped the APATHY channel - Sorry for any inconvenience.

"And make sure you give me a paper straw... gotta do my bit for the planet."

Might Versus Right.