Satirical Masterminds Mugs

"Do you think Trump has read 'Contemporary Relativism and the Death of Meaning'?"

A man peddles U.S. flags on the sidewalk, next to a man peddling copies of the U.S. constitution

"Welcome to Sugar Free Farm! The reality show, where celebs go cold turkey on their sugar addictions for two weeks."

'A man has to believe in something. I believe I'll have another drink!'

Sign in doctors office - Malpractice Makes Perfect.

Illogic Tree

"Elon Musk is buying rope and walnuts."

Prisoner still life painting.

Implement operation 'KILL ALL PLUMBERS'!

'That's one of those May-December love affairs. He's 251 years old, and she can't be a day over 135!'

"All my stuff is 'Rosebud'."

"The museum of modern art on fire... an installation."

"If you get to be a stay-at-home dad, why can't I be a stay-at-home daughter?"

"It looks like we're out of sample placebos."

"Is there a spin doctor in the house?"

'Done! We're now on Santa's 'nice' list.'

'Don't ask how much your hospital bill is because we have no way of knowing.'

Mismanagement Consultant.

"You are now over planet earth please empty toilet, now"

'Then someone hit on the idea of selling our torture devices to fitness centers.'

'Dear editor, today I saw the first cuckold of spring...' (Divorce Lawyer).

'Give it to me straight, doc. How much longer do I have in advertising's prime demographic audience?'

'...Pack your bags. When we get indside, we're moving to the cat.'

"Hey Neil, I've got an idea - let's really freak everyone out and tell them you're quitting physics to become my new co-Pope."

"With this system nobody ever needs a holiday. A doctor occasionally, but not a holiday."

"I'm going to use Aversion Therapy. Get better or pay me $300 an hour."

"The sky isn't really falling -- I'm just trying to make a living."

"Stan, this looks like a breakthrough!"

"We shall now commence throwing money at the problem."

"Hey, way to go! You invented both the disease AND the cure!"

'Humans are really worried about us leaving. They're offering us tax incentives to stay.'

'Do something else - I don't like irony.'