Satirical Cinema Critic Pillows

'Twas an irritable giant man that killed the beast!'

All Harold's aptitude test showed is that he had an aptitude for taking tests.

Standard endings for sci-fi movies...

'...And now, the film most criticized for eroding traditional family values, the nominees are...'

'... and the winner for 'The Noisiest Picture of the Year' is...'

"Stick Figure" "Stick Figure II" "Stick Figures" "Stick Figure: The Reawakening"

Martin Scorsese Roasts Your Fandom

"The script is flimsy, the action scenes implausible and the plot would insult the intelligence of a three year old."

"Can you hear me now?"

"We interrupt this rubbish to give you another chance to switch off."

"You're right, Son. This movie did have a great cast."

"He thinks that if they really want to smash the stereotype then he should be a shoe-in for the next Bond."

"Oh, it's just a corny old bee movie."

"I preferred the graphic novel of the origin story of the original prequel."

"Every good scene in that move was in the coming attractions...why did we even bother to come watch it?"

Now showing - "What's the least noisy film we can chat through?"

"But only during rehearsal."

Movie Rated 'R' - Audience Rates 'X'.

"I LOVE this business! Just when you think you've discovered our culture's lowest common denominator, along comes a crazy genius like you to show us how wrong our math was!"

"When did movies start being dumb all year round?"

'Eddy - For Heavens sake, stop watching Pirates-of-the-Caribbean-movies!'

'The author must have had film rights in mind when he chose the title.'

Movie Franchise

"He added the computer, TV and cable box. Apparently, sand wasn't enough."

"Any family history of stroke? Diabetes? Bankruptcy?"

"That was a feel-good movie. How come I don't feel so good?"

"I forget-did we decide to see something life-affirming or something mind-numbing?"

"What do the know!"

'This is what we call a 'patient'...you MAY find some reference to one of them on page 435 of your manual.'

"A superhero that doesn't wear his underpants on the outside is no superhero at all!"

"I usually vote for whoever promises to cut the most tax."