Satirical Cereal Lover Pillows

I Can't Believe It's Not Fake News

"Let's go watch TV I hear there are bowl games on."

"Think of it as buying in – not selling out."

German Expressionist Breakfast

'Kix? Yes, Ma'am -- you can get your Kix on aisle 66.'

'We've only got a couple of days to finish this box of cereal. Mom'll never let us eat something called energy-packed after school's out.'

Credit Crunch Corn Flakes.

Real Estate Krisp Flakes: Location! Location! Location!

"Oui, c'est bon. It is, how you Americans say, 'Magically Delicious'."

Sister to brother: 'It's kind of like alphabet soup, only for numbers crunchers.'

Power breakfast.

"Joe's cereal. NPR co-approved."

Cereal Tasting.

'Snap, crackle, help! I'm lactose intolerant!'

"Igor, you fool! I said 'healthy brain'!"

Gullib-Os

It was then that Cervantes was inspired.

'I'm not sure how you managed to burn a bowl of cereal.'

"It's magically delicious...especially when you sprinkle...Halloween candy on it!"

'Frank, leak to the tabloids that these slow moving broccoli flakes cure cancer.'

'Apparently the nutrients and the additives cancel each other out.'

Mom bought the wrong flakes

"Everything bad for you has already been removed."

Sugar Crunchies - Free Dental Treatment.

1% Cereal: Now with marshmallow dollar signs.

Credit Crunch: Breakfast for Losers.

"Nice landing, Captain Crunch."

'Vitamins A, B, C, D...Hey, Mom! - this cereal has all the recommended daily allowance of alphabet in it!'

"We upped the protein by simply factoring in the permissible level of insect parts."

'It's the natural cereal you requested. No additives. No preservatives. No artificial color.'

'This may be the only time I'll ever bring you breakfast in bed - So wake up!'

"I go soggy in the bath."

'It's every SNOW flake that's different, Billy - Not every CORN flake.'

"Before we begin tonight's dream, a word from our sponsor..."

'It says, 'If you want more fiber, eat the package.'