Satirical Advertising Enthusiast Gifts

Ernie's Real Estate. Ernie, in this ad you don't mention the leaky roof. I say "built-in sprinkler system." What about the low-haning beam her downstairs? "Bar in basement." Ernie, the tub drains can't be unclogged! What why I sand "Two full baths!" This house was previously listed and nobody even looked at it! Buy now while interest is low"! And you ad doesn't say anything about the persistent bird nest problem in the attic. You're right! I should tell people "New wings just added"!

'OK, team, let's review: when the arrow goes down, it means...?

'We want everyone to remember our name.'

"So, I see you have a background in advertising..."

Create some buzz!

Creative department

"Technically he's a zombie but we'll market him as a hybrid."

Important Food Groups

"Lori, go ahead and toss in 'Lolita.' Now, what's next?" "We'll need more lighter fluid." "'The Lottery' is devils work." "We must protect the children." "Book burning club"

"So let's roll up our sleeves and show that America still builds the world's greatest advertising."

'He's written some great slogans and some great labels, but he's never written a great coupon.'

The bad news is our boxer shorts are still bursting into flames. The good news is our brand recognition is through the roof

"Well, after ad school, our Timothy made a 6-second Ad that nobody saw."

Tarzan has gone into advertising. He's king of the jingle now.

"How's this for transparency: Our product isn't organic but our bullshit advertising it!"

"What do you mean blood sucking pest? You're the one who invited me into your life!"

"Hire me and I'll bring in orders. Big orders. You're gonna need a bigger door."

"True, a salary cap on Wall Street may limit the talent pool, but, on the other hand, if they get any more talented we'll all be broke."

'As you can see,we run a completely paperless office.'

'It's creative as hell! Now that you've got that out of your system, give me a campaign that will sell.'

World Food Summit - No food and drink allowed in the auditorium.

What happened when the bond issues failed during the building of the Great Wall of China: The Great Picket Fence of China.

"The problem is that our ads have either been too Jewish or not Jewish enough."

'You're in luck - we do have a temporary position in advertising'.

Honesty in retail

Gerald Ratner's return

Eat Beef

"I'm a common dolphin, I swim the west coast of Scotland foraging for fish and squid."

"Joe's cereal. NPR co-approved."

"Did you ask the client about product placement?"

"I liked it better when it was 'don't ask, don't tell the New York Times'."

News for Sale

Small country advertisng at the Olympics

Actually, Mama was her third word. Buy Now were her first two.

Gullib-Os