Ad Humor Enthusiast Gifts

Yeah, your rates are very good, but your ads on TV just aren't funny enough

'Did you want to bring on a sub'

'Which sounds better: 'now with MORE XZ100' or 'now with LESS XZ100'?'

"... And this one needs a shot of vodka."

"I suppose you think that's funny."

As Seen Watching TV

"And now a word from our sponsors...ratings."

'It began as The Great American Novel...but it finally sold as an infomercial.'

"Remember, you're selling home appliances, so look more ... dishwashery."

'This unexpectedly concludes tonight's program -- the sponsor bailed out.'

"We're ready to give the verdict....after the commercial break."

Palm Reading

"Here's one - 'Few-bricks-short-of-a-load seeks One-our-out-of-the-water.'."

Marv's Preowned Vehicles...That new car smell can kill you! - Buy Used!

Business gothic.

Sex shop headache pills...

'I'd like you to come up with a catchy jingle that'll give people a headache everytime it's played.'

'Thank you for picking me as your ATM machine...but before I dispense your money, here's a word from Ed's Bar & Grill...'

COUNCIL OF ECONOMIC ADVISORS, 'Have we tried product placement?'

"I said 'blow job' not 'blow chunks'."

"Can you believe they're watching the same back-to-school ad?"

'He doesn't get the jokes - he just laughs at the F-words.'

"I even had commercials in my dream last night."

It's the perfect advertising image of marital bliss. All we need is the disclaimer 'PROFESSIONAL ACTORS - DON'T TRY THIS AT HOME.'

SWM highway patrolman in search of intelligent, attractive woman. Send picture of your motorcycle.

"Now just say the first thing that comes into your mind."

McCooties, Gold, & Jibbs.

'We're making the package 10% smaller.'

'I can't identify with any brand emotionally!'

Bottleopener.

'It's half as good as our $10 special.'

"Remember, Goodwin, it's a real jungle out there."

' I don't care if their ad says they stand behind every bed they sell, I want him out of here...'