Satirical Advertising Enthusiast T-Shirts

'OK, team, let's review: when the arrow goes down, it means...?

'We want everyone to remember our name.'

"So, I see you have a background in advertising..."

Create some buzz!

Creative department

"Technically he's a zombie but we'll market him as a hybrid."

"Lori, go ahead and toss in 'Lolita.' Now, what's next?" "We'll need more lighter fluid." "'The Lottery' is devils work." "We must protect the children." "Book burning club"

Important Food Groups

"So let's roll up our sleeves and show that America still builds the world's greatest advertising."

'He's written some great slogans and some great labels, but he's never written a great coupon.'

The bad news is our boxer shorts are still bursting into flames. The good news is our brand recognition is through the roof

"How's this for transparency: Our product isn't organic but our bullshit advertising it!"

"Hire me and I'll bring in orders. Big orders. You're gonna need a bigger door."

"What do you mean blood sucking pest? You're the one who invited me into your life!"

"Well, after ad school, our Timothy made a 6-second Ad that nobody saw."

"True, a salary cap on Wall Street may limit the talent pool, but, on the other hand, if they get any more talented we'll all be broke."

'It's creative as hell! Now that you've got that out of your system, give me a campaign that will sell.'

What happened when the bond issues failed during the building of the Great Wall of China: The Great Picket Fence of China.

World Food Summit - No food and drink allowed in the auditorium.

Small country advertisng at the Olympics

"The problem is that our ads have either been too Jewish or not Jewish enough."

"Did you ask the client about product placement?"

Honesty in retail

Gerald Ratner's return

'You're in luck - we do have a temporary position in advertising'.

"I liked it better when it was 'don't ask, don't tell the New York Times'."

"I'm a common dolphin, I swim the west coast of Scotland foraging for fish and squid."

"Joe's cereal. NPR co-approved."

Eat Beef

Actually, Mama was her third word. Buy Now were her first two.

Gullib-Os

Advertising and PR Agency: 'I'm able to spin at 60 words per minute, hype at 50 words and distort at 45 words.'