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Girl's weight issues.

'We want everyone to remember our name.'

Create some buzz!

Creative department

"Technically he's a zombie but we'll market him as a hybrid."

Important Food Groups

'He's written some great slogans and some great labels, but he's never written a great coupon.'

"Bill did the voice-over for this commercial."

The bad news is our boxer shorts are still bursting into flames. The good news is our brand recognition is through the roof

"Well, after ad school, our Timothy made a 6-second Ad that nobody saw."

Generic Store: Sign in Window

"Hire me and I'll bring in orders. Big orders. You're gonna need a bigger door."

Tarzan has gone into advertising. He's king of the jingle now.

"How's this for transparency: Our product isn't organic but our bullshit advertising it!"

'We raised the price, so at least as far as we're concerned it's new and improved.'

"Did you ask the client about product placement?"

Honesty in retail

News for Sale

'You're in luck - we do have a temporary position in advertising'.

Eat Beef

"Joe's cereal. NPR co-approved."

Actually, Mama was her third word. Buy Now were her first two.

Gullib-Os

Advertising and PR Agency: 'I'm able to spin at 60 words per minute, hype at 50 words and distort at 45 words.'

Opp'y of a Lifetime

'We're losing the mid-morning market. Let's put a hamburger in a glazed donut and call it brunch.'

"Here's the marketing department's solution."

'With 5% spent on talent, 5% on production, and 90% on marketing...I smell WINNER!'

"I must say Jeff, there's something about your personal brand that I find refreshing."

"Bob, you're just not selling me on you essential hamburgerness."

CATCHY NAME

SupermarketAwful Market.

"We can succeed if our target audience is not made up of rational human beings."

'We've gone over your budget very carefully, Mr Thorne. Unfortunately the network does not sell 7-second spots.'

Man selling lamb weekly