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Girl's weight issues.

'We want everyone to remember our name.'

Create some buzz!

Creative department

"Technically he's a zombie but we'll market him as a hybrid."

Important Food Groups

'He's written some great slogans and some great labels, but he's never written a great coupon.'

The bad news is our boxer shorts are still bursting into flames. The good news is our brand recognition is through the roof

"Bill did the voice-over for this commercial."

"Hire me and I'll bring in orders. Big orders. You're gonna need a bigger door."

Generic Store: Sign in Window

"Well, after ad school, our Timothy made a 6-second Ad that nobody saw."

"How's this for transparency: Our product isn't organic but our bullshit advertising it!"

'We raised the price, so at least as far as we're concerned it's new and improved.'

'You're in luck - we do have a temporary position in advertising'.

Honesty in retail

"Did you ask the client about product placement?"

"Joe's cereal. NPR co-approved."

Eat Beef

Actually, Mama was her third word. Buy Now were her first two.

Gullib-Os

Advertising and PR Agency: 'I'm able to spin at 60 words per minute, hype at 50 words and distort at 45 words.'

Opp'y of a Lifetime

'We're losing the mid-morning market. Let's put a hamburger in a glazed donut and call it brunch.'

"Here's the marketing department's solution."

'With 5% spent on talent, 5% on production, and 90% on marketing...I smell WINNER!'

"I must say Jeff, there's something about your personal brand that I find refreshing."

"Bob, you're just not selling me on you essential hamburgerness."

CATCHY NAME

SupermarketAwful Market.

"We can succeed if our target audience is not made up of rational human beings."

'We've gone over your budget very carefully, Mr Thorne. Unfortunately the network does not sell 7-second spots.'

Man selling lamb weekly