Satire Sage Pillows

How To Cut The Defense Budget

'You say it's a dramedy? We thought it was more of a coma.'

'The wheel was great, but what have you done for me lately?'

"Behold the secret to happiness."

The Department of Really Stupid Ideas: 'Most people think they just appear out of thin air! But the truth is, there's a great deal of very hard work involved!'

"On a more positive note the guidance we’ve published on the services we can’t provide is published in 37 different languages."

Occu-Pie Mars

"She's fine. She just needs some tofu."

"And just like that, e got rid of Florida."

"This is a merit-based organization! Can't you see I’ve hired the very best and most qualified yes-men money can buy?"

"This position has become very important to the company."

"You're fired."

British savings accounts

The Signing of tthe United States Constitution

"And when the canyon fills up, that's it; herd immunity."

'Am I being too suspicious or do you think it's possible that they're crooked?'

Who will determine Venezuela's future?

'Keep me informed of the herds' mood.'

"'I don't want war'. . . well, wither our translation program is broke or this president has a strange kind of humor!"

"I'm expert at sniffing out blame."

''...And defend the Constitution of the United States.' -- And now, I'd like to pardon the following Illinois politicians....'

UK/US Free Trade Deal

"Now, how can I be of assistance?"

'According to our statistics department, 78.93 of the statistics they produce are worthless.'

'I hate to be so skeptical, but I still think the seance business is a hoax!'

Life is for the birds.

"Technology isn't making me smarter. It's allowing me to be dumb, faster."

(oil - petroleum - gushing out of inkwell)

"It's a memo from the legal department reminding us to (heh-heh), 'keep our noses clean'."