Satire Appreciateur Gifts

Bringing the Paper

Death Wish.

"Well he may be dead but on a positive note he would've been with 18% more dead before our restructuring!"

(oil - petroleum - gushing out of inkwell)

"Who's got the hammer?"

UK border controls relaxed.

"Well, what did you expect? They were both missing vital organs."

Gay Times...

"...and before you embark upon life's journey, could one of you help me with my laptop?"

How about going easy on the carbs

'This guy loves giving stump speeches. Ironically, they're all against deforestation.'

'Marsha, did you file the Peterson account on the cumulus, stratus, cirrus, or nimbus cloud?'

"Whoa. Jeff. Looks like you got that job at the cosmetic testing lab."

"We didn't want to know the gender in advance."

'He took from the rich and gave to the poor? It sounds like wealth redistribution.'

'Oh Hi!'

'The boss said I never made any profits and I never found customers worth mentioning and that's why he promoted me to the company's chief bad example!'

"Steamed vegetables."

'Hi - I'm your company perk !'

Don Quixote is Caged (Don Quixote).

"Sorry lad, ye can't be having' me pot o' toilet paper."

"They're so like us."

Czarcasm

Denmark scrapped anti-blasphemy law!

'This one is for serving 27 years in the military without anyone finding out I'm gay.'

"How long were you in the waiting room?"

Russia Money Laundering

'...And now, the film most criticized for eroding traditional family values, the nominees are...'

"She's a show dog...purebred, of course." "That's great! My guy's a Sanskrit scholar...wrote for the Harvard Lampoon."

"Amateurs."

The Greek Trampoline

Admit it. We have a drinking problem.

'It's cutting edge theatre.'