Satire Appreciator Gifts

'Naughty, nice, nice, nice, naughty, nice. This you call a business plan?'

"What wine goes best with vodka?"

"All these years, and you haven't listened to a damn thing I've said, have you?"

Creation of Wine

Prescription Air Fresheners

"Who are you kidding? You're all about small government until you get stuck in a tree."

"Do you think terrorists could ever poison the vodka supply?"

'You could go home tomorrow, but it will take the plumber three days to disconnect you.'

'John's in charge of advising us on ethical matters, but to be honest, I've never had much confidence in him!'

"I call it The Blame Game."

"You're not crazy. You want crazy?"

Margaret Thatcher

"If you were to boil your book down to a few words, what would be its message?"

'And by clicking on 'I Agree,' you agree to the terms and conditions...'

'Ah, Gutenberg, I'm just writing an article about your silly bookpress.'

"Something's just not right – our air is clean, our water is pure, we all get plenty of exercise, everything we eat is organic and free-range, and yet nobody lives past thirty."

New Planning Body in beauty spot - 'Nice spot for our HQ...'

'Just shoot! You're thinking about it too much!!'

'Ready to walk the Reimbursement Maze?'

Jewelled 'Eradicate Poverty' bracelet

The Truth

ATM. To verify you are who you say you are, stick head through hole.

'The pony club'

'This one is for serving 27 years in the military without anyone finding out I'm gay.'

'Your back went out because your front went out.'

'When we talk about a 'needs' led service. The 'NEED' is to stay in budget!'

"'Marry me,' said the prince. 'Oh, yes,' said the princess. All through the kingdom the people rejoiced. Stocks rallied. It would be good for the economy."

'You know they aren't real.'

Apathy support group - no one turns up.

"Please stay on the line. All of our customer-service representatives are kidding around and throwing paper airplanes at each other."

Science Friction.

Specimen of Mr Punch's Industrial Exhibition of 1850 (to be improved in 1851)

Beggar's sign: 'Accepting new clients.'

"It's great the way that computer algorithms allow the internet to feed me with opinions that reinforce the ones I've already got - all on my phone!"

John Calvin