Sat Nav Pillows

"In two miles, psychologically prepare yourself to make a left across four lanes of incoming traffic."

"A GPS! Thanks guys! It's exactly what I need to guide my sleigh...you know, in light of that unfortunate hunting accident."

"A journey of a thousand miles begins with a MAP, actually."

I always play the GPS through the backseat speakers. That's were I'm used to receiving instructions.

'You can laugh all you want, but since I bought this 'GPS' system, I haven't beached myself once!'

"GPS? In case we get lost? Why would we need that? We're microchipped."

Goose checking his GPS.

"This is Siri. No, you're not there yet!"

'Backseat driver...'

"My GPS got an upgrade...if you argue with it, it REALLY tells you where to go!"

Voice of GPS: 'Recalculating...'

GPS Recalculating.

"Err..Hello?..Wilsons Car Sales? I'm having a little teething trouble with the satellite navigation system"

'Yes, Lewis and Clark, I'll giude you."

"This one's the anti-collision computer and that one's the GPS..." "But there's no room for me!"

'In two meters turn left!'

'The global positioning system says we're on the border between middle class and lower middle class.'

G.P.S. for Poor Math Students

Sat Nav: G Spot?

Thug takes dog badger baiting with 'Set Nav'.

'Kid, you flunked the driving test. But you get high marks in audio system tuning, cell phone fumbling, and GPS fiddling.'

"Oh no - the sat-nav's gone. How can we find the hotel now?"

"Are we there yet!"

Lav Nav

Intelligent Navigation Device...

If you're reading this, your sat nav system has failed.

"We wanted to make the system more human."

Aliens outside coffee house, one says: 'This is great, we never end up in hicksville towns since we got sat nav.'

"We Europeans must finally take responsibility for ourselves! Tomorrow we replace the damn US-made sat nav!"

Fat Nav

"How did I get here so quickly? Bat-nav."

'Just think, dear - with the GPS up front and my mother in the back, you can be nagged in stereo!'

'Before I got a pair, I'd sometimes just walk around aimlessly.'

Never get lost again! Introducing the Track Mapper - a navigation device for directionally challenged runners.

"I could have gone to Eton but I never had the Sat Nav."