Sartorial Innovator Pillows

'What's next? Shoes we can walk in??'

"This is going to make the most amazing driftwood table."

'She dressed herself this morning.'

"Like my new haircut?"

'...so I simply combined my love of beards with my love of tattoos and this was the result!'

Heloise's Helpful Hints for Homebound

'This was designed for people who have mastered easy chairs and want to attempt something more difficult.'

"You can't quit my bridal fashion business. It says so in the prenup, I man the non-compete agreement!"

"It's expensive because it connects to the internet."

"Anyone who laughs at my new haircut will be subjected to immediate termination."

Caveman applying wallpaper cave paintings

'He doesn't seem to like my haircut.'

'Now that's what I call a beautiful fit.'

"Nice. Got this in camo?"

Man in a Tuxedo

'Welcome home, dear. While you were away I redecorated...'

'I ran into a whittler.'

"It's not so much a 'power' suit anymore – it's more of an 'happy to be employed' ensemble."

"Would you believe I can still fit into my tux after eighteen years?"

'...and all of our power suits come with a complimentary surge protector.'

"I don't really have the skirt for this blouse."

Mutant Mootunes - Pete Poodle Pants

"With all this wearable tech, I wish they'd come up with a smart belt."

"That one is non-wash. Also no ironing is required."

Butterfly Bow-tie.

"It's powered by clean hydroelectricity from Norwegian fjords and built from 100% recycled shopping bags. We call it the Smugmobile!"

e-procurement

Gals! Are you entering you 'goddess' years?

The latest fall fashion trends

"Have you heard of the term, lunatic fringe?"

Cornrows

I've found the designer gene.

"Of course I'm young at heart...I had one of my wrinkles pierced, didn't I?"

A man on a desert island fashions a bikini for himself.