Sarcastic Supervisors Gifts

Course 'Management Skills and Employee Motivation', 09 AM - 05 PM, No breaks!

Cloud Cuckoo Land, Hamburger bar, "I don't like the look of this Charlie"

'I'm sorry, but everyone is in a meeting.'

Armstrong, the only doctor covered in the new health plan you got me is a veterinarian! Beats no coverage. Yeah, if you're a parakeet. You're so cheap. You don't value me at all. You ingrate. I didn't have to give you health benefits. Lots of employers don't cover their animals. You mean workers. Stop your barking.

"You call this sweating bullets over the Jackson account? What caliber?"

Our founder: Custard pies Ltd.

Bureau of the Damned

Tolls: Must have exact change and tails up.

'I had to stamp down on staff using nicknames at work. They even had one for me!'

'I'm not sure how you managed to burn a bowl of cereal.'

"Sorry, I'm not criticizing your driving so much as I'm marvelling that you're still alive."

"The boss is mad at me. I did something really, really dumb today!"

"Let's demonstrate our corporate values of diversity and inclusion and listen to some of Brian's stupid ideas."

I think when they talk about 'taking more excercise' they meant more than lifting the remote control.

"... and God bless my mom and her courage to call this food."

"Calm down, I'm just using the rules of modern competition."

"Don't look at me. I'm just the gay friend."

"Hey, if we're getting laid off, it's every man for himself!"

"You think you have the boss from hell?!"

'Oh he's sporty all right - he can be up and down on his stairlift in under ten minutes'

Finally, a big puffy hand for the losing team.

"I knew I should never have left you in charge of the rubber bands!"

"Oh, please, do tell me what Warren Buffett has to say about adding bleach to delicates."

'Like it'll do any good.'

"Med school was a blast."

"Clean your wallet, sir?"

Big Brother.

"I think I'd be better at leading if I could yell louder."

'You're problem is you don't think big enough.'

"Boss, if you could be any superhero, which one would it be?" "Insurance-Adjuster-Man." "In a world where superheroes were real, there'd be an awful lot of collateral damage to buildings and infrastructure." "Insurance-Adjuster-Man would probably clear six figures by breakfast." "'Heroes' aren't in it for the money." "Of course they are. Take Lex Luthor, for instance..."

'Get me everything on scapegoats.'

Career Opportunities of the Future

"Don't let the new boss catch you having a cigarette break...there's a rumour he watches his staff like a hawk!"

'Keep an eye on McAllister -- I think he's cooking the books.'

"You know, anyone who wishes he had a remote control for his exercise equipment is missing the idea of exercise equipment."