Sarcastic Birthday Celebrator Gifts

Getting older.

'I couldn't remember your exact age.'

'great win, kids! Let's celebrate... My treat!!'

"Don't think of this birthday as you're getting older. Think of it as being one day closer to irritable bowel syndrome."

"I'm not going to do any work...cos it's my birthday!"

Happy Bifurcation Day,

Cat makes a dog pound cake with dog cather inside.

'I'd say you're a little late...'

"I thought we agreed that the dining room was a buffer zone."

The Birthday Mafia Sends a message.

"Happy Birthday - I saw this and thought of you."

A woman stares at a birthday cake that has "4,000,000 calories" written on top of it in icing.

"Happy new year!"

Knights

Celebrate National Submarine Day.

'If there was one thing Methusela hated. It was his Birthday bumps.

The first birthday gift.

"Then maybe you should just tell me what you want for your birthday instead of saying you don't care."

"Meanwhile at Oak Vista Rest Home... In case of birthday cake fire break glass."

I'm 40! Oh. Well happy birthday. A lot of people wouldn't be happy about turning 40. But I'm thrilled! I've been looking forward to my midlife crisis for a long time. I've got it all planned. First I'm going to buy a sports car. Then I'm going to leave my family for someone half my age who really GETS me. Then we're going to embark on a road trip filled with booze, shoplifting and debauchery. Anyway, what's your most dangerous drink? I want something that says "I'm letting the tiger in me out to

'That does it! I've had it with that nincompoop! Every time there's a birthday, he's the first to sign the card and he never leaves room for anyone else!'

Life begins at 60

'It's nice to see you all,but I was just going out to work.'

'I do hope you enjoy your birthday lie-in, dear.'

The Big Bad Wolf Turns 50.

"I said, 'Make a WISH'...not a whiz."

"After 40, the body has a mind of its own."

'That burning sensation is just a nasty case of hemorrhoidal flare-up.'

Alien Birthdays...

Handel sitting on a piano

'Medical researchers discovered that the leading cause of death by aging is due to birthdays.'

A drum covered in candles

'I must be getting older, the cards joking about my age just don't seem as funny anymore'

Man holding a birthday cake.

'Born again birthdays don't count.'