Sapper Pillows

Spiro & Pusho on the minefield

"How's your insomnia?" "Bad, I can't even fall sleep during meetings."

Cat Reunion

"The soup of the day is pineapple with a hint of rum."

"I know you're scared, but you can do this! Remember that time I had to clean up after you and I didn't have a bag and had to use leaves?! I was so afraid, but I did it…"

"Kids these days and their piercings..."

Statue of Liberty and Hand Sanitizer

Thank you for purchasing the first modular dressing kid for guys

'Summer's over and it's time to fall in!'

Tree sap drips makes man need the toilet.

"Does this make us three sheets to the wind or four?"

Bored Meeting

"I will assume she would second the motion to adjourn."

The Environmentalist Fighting Deforestation

'Alright, gentlemen, I think we'll dispense with 'cheese'...'

'It's the newest fitness craze. It's called 'tie bow'.'

"The only way I lost a few ounces with my activity tracker was when I took it off."

No Flash Photography of Meals

'I know 24 ways to kill a man - add another if I don't get a drink.'

"Have you washed your hands..?"

I'm sorry sir, we don't stock pin-stripe underwear.

"Wouldn't it be easier to let me fall asleep in front of the TV like dad?"

Boss about employee: 'He has a spark of genius, but he also has ignition problems.'

Ether Bunny (Easter bunny sleeping)

'Fine, thank you. And how are you?'

"I've never learned to go shopping on an empty credit limit."

A man is eating soup in a restaurant and there's a zipper in his food - 'Waiter, there's a fly in my soup!'

"I tried a slice of pizza yesterday, and frankly I don't get it."

"How's the divorce going?"

Moustached Man

"Hurry up and take the pic! I can't hold this adorable pose all day!!"

"He's treading that fine line between meditation and sedation."