Sapient Senior Gifts

'You need the wisdom of the ages to understand Medicare Part D.'

'I'm ninety-two! Tell me what I'm doing wrong... I dare you!"

"She fell down stairs again, so this is her third hip."

'What you seem to be suffering from is longevity.'

Senior Partner works at a desk, sign on wall behind her says 'Ms. Davis senior partner - formerly: 'Hey You'.

'I refuse to relinquish the title, 'Top Young Exec'.'

"The corner ledge is reserved for senior management."

"Hey. Whatever happened to our sexual relations? "

'You seem quieter tonight. Did they give you something to help you relax?'

"Sometimes I wish I could just jump into the dryer and come out wrinkle-free!"

"But, doctor, what are the advantages of living longer?"

"I've outlived my conventional and alternative doctors."

"My novel is about a romance between an octogenarian and a septuagenarian, but I can't remember which is which."

Lilly was too far from the phone to complain about her new stairlift.

'When you look at me do you see a woman or a senior partner?'

'No need to yell son, I may be deaf, but I can still read.'

Road rage on a mobility scooter.

"I get it! I get it! Elephants never forget. Now quit bragging about it!"

How to identify the alarming mood swings of male menopause.

"We settled into the one-level after our hips got bad."

"At my age, your legs and bowels begin to go."

'Okay, we grew old together - Now what?'

Pensioner's Romance

"You want the truth? I can't remember the truth!"

"My doctor said I have 'a reptile dysfunction.'"

'I should have told you, every Friday senior partners get to do the Prosecco Polonaise.'

"I'm thinking of letting my bangs grow out."

"I look forward to growing dead with you."

"America's Funniest Colonoscopy Videos."

Diabolical bureaucratic management