Santa Wannabes T-Shirts

"You were ho-ho-hoing in your sleep again!"

"Boil, toil and trouble, I wish I'd never started this risotto."

Santa Claus's Mail

High security Santa's grotto

'You and your 'Rescue the Reindeer' campaign!'

"I prefer to talk to Mrs. Claus. She doesn't care if I'm naughty or nice."

"I admire your enthusiasm, but you’re not really flying."

"Anything but milk and cookies."

'This year I'm deliverying everything FedEx!'

'You still owe me the pony from last year!'

"Pepperoni pizza is my favorite! Ah, Billy, you little suck up!"

'How do we know the NSA hasn't hacked your naughty list?'

Santa 'Freezing' Claus.

'Kids like my presents, but do they really like me?'

"Look out, Luke Grasswalker! Irascibility leads to the dark side of the force. . . right into a hamburger bun."

Santa CGI Effect

'How do you think he stays so merry through the holidays?!'

"Naughty? Nice? It's a bit more nuanced than that..."

"I want a pony!"

'And that,and that,and that...'

'There really IS a Santa!' Santa busts pets eating his milk and cookies

'Well, I'll try, but cheese seems to be the 'must have gift' this year.'

"We're wasting our time. He gets them free at work."

Why are you insisting on spending Christmas in hospital, Gran? I prefer the Santa here, darling.

"Amazon wants to open a facility here due to our friendly labor environment."

Hot food cafe open every day except Christmas Day.

"Well, what would YOU like for Christmas?"

The Reindeer Strike

'Most of all, I'd like to thank god. . .'

"For the last time… do not feed bubble gum to the reindeer!"

"I can't tel you what an honor it is to be the keynote speaker at the Supply Chain management Seminar."

SANTA'S ATTORNEY

'After you ask him for the pony, ask him to pay for your college education.'

'What do you expect? A red bulb burned out, and you're free till Christmas.'

'It's true, nobody ever elected me C.E.O. However, I always just assumed I was.'