Santa Style Analyst T-Shirts

"So why does the Santa at the mall have red suit but the Santa at the farm supply wears flannel shirt and blue jeans?"

"Rolled-up sleeves, no coat, loose tie...it's my casual confrontational look."

US and the EU

"Of course, I'm willing to negotiate. . ."

All I want for Christmas is a modest recovery in the GDP, along with expectations that the year-over-year growth rate will significantly improve in 2014.'

Hats: Management/Good Job/Friendly but Aloof.

When the traditional and contemporary services overlap.

'I mind my mother, and I do my lessons, and I'm here for the quid pro quo.'

Solar Flares

Power Bowties: 'It projects a subtle, confident power, rather than the abrasive, overbearing power of the standard tie.'

'Your hair is messy,stand up straight. You look unkempt.'

"The full partner look."

Rudolph is at bar speaking to a patron-'So he asks me if I'll pull his sleigh and I'm like-'Not until I get that backpay you owe me fatso!' '

"I used to be a racer: Giving people joy-rides is really really boring..."

'What I want for Christmas can be found in the Russel 2000 index of small-fry funds.'

'Now before you get all upset, I got ten percent above market value.'

Dear Santa- Thanks for the awesome gift! p.s. did you know cellphones have built-in calculators? p.p.s. you suck.

"That tie, Merrick. It's not your friend."

"One problem is we have a clash of styles."

'...Santa delivers to Yorkshire first...everybody else has to wait because they're not as good.'

'How obvious can you get?'

The woman next door bought a coat exactly like mine!

How to have long, luscious hair in two easy steps 1) Have short, luscious hair. 2) Don't cut it.

Man deciding which hat to wear

"This is the only spectacle frame that fits your special needs, sir."

I'd like some nice trendy clothes that actually fit me. Tell me about it!

'Isn't it enough to have long hair?'

'Well, Johnson, I see you're wearing suspenders and a belt again. That reminds me, did you get that redundancy checker?'

"What do you mean, 'Christmas bonus'? ... You only work here at Christmas!"

Rather Smart All Round.

'He just found out his human has invested in some daisy reins.'

"I think my master is having a midlife crisis: he's adopted a "rapper look"! So embarassing when we go on our walk..."

'What about her hair? Doesn't anyone care about her hair?'

'I'll tell you why I have a beard if you tell me why you shave yours off every day...'