Santa's Tech Squad Gifts

"I hope that wish list you just sent to Santa wasn't too big." "Our server just crashed!"

City Marathon.

"I'm weighed down with so many gadgets, I'll need a push to start me off."

'Oh, and this ringtone is an app that alerts me when a fly ball is headed my way.'

"Why would I want to meet Santa? I can just go home and log onto his social media page from the comfort of my bed."

"You are running low on cloud storage space. Please upgrade your account to continue."

"I'll get my 10,000 steps in tonight!"

Santa knows he has to be more careful. One more accident due to pilot error, and the FAA would take away his pilot's license for good.

"So yes, I bit him! How was I supposed to know it was Master wearing a red fat-suit and a fake white beard?"

The other days of the year...

The Lives of the SaintsThis Week: Frieda Witherspoon

'I mind my mother, and I do my lessons, and I'm here for the quid pro quo.'

"Hold on, the puck is coming this way."

'Today's sermon is from St. Matthew, Chapter Five....'

Santa refused to go mountain climbing with Snowy ever again.

"It's just temporary, Comet, until Rudolph feels better."

Sports and new technologies

Santa accepts cookies on a website.

Santa Yoga

'Sorry we don't do 'Pay-as-you-ho' contracts'

Santa Claus doesn't exist because he got eaten up by zombie elves.

Sat Nativ.

"Too much information."

"Our tech team has figured out why you've been so unproductive. Apparently, your computer is over 20 years old. We've ordered you a new one."

"As a leader of Santa's sleigh, he's still having a problem navigating through all the drones."

Baseball Players with QR Codes on their Shirts.

"There goes another childhood illusion. When I was a kid, he had eight reindeer."

Basketball championship games in the future.

City Marathon.

"Sally's been very naughty this year."

"I don't need a book that records people's good and evil deeds. Nowadays I just check social media accounts."

"I'm going to need the promotion code."