Santa's Secret Admirer Gifts

'If I were you, I'd go with the free kilometres.'

'Santa is real, but I can't decide if he is the New Black or 50 Shades of Grey!'

"If he can make 5 million home visits in one night, he should be able to help with our backlog!"

'These elves sure are helpful around the house.'

'Do I get to take an 'elfie' with Santa, too?'

"No, you definitely wouldn't get Christmas Eve off."

Wait - If this is a big bag of toys, where's the big bag of dirty laundry? Worst Christmas morning ever.

Santa's Helpers

"Donner and Blitzen are just our stage names."

Santa knows he has to be more careful. One more accident due to pilot error, and the FAA would take away his pilot's license for good.

A centipede's Christmas stockings

"So yes, I bit him! How was I supposed to know it was Master wearing a red fat-suit and a fake white beard?"

The other days of the year...

"I like it here but if Santa doesn't get better WiFi I'm getting a new job."

"Will you only promise the children toys that can be brought at this store?"

Santa Claus and the Snowman Cross Paths

"Hold still, it's a programme about making your own tv cabinet."

'I mind my mother, and I do my lessons, and I'm here for the quid pro quo.'

Rudolph wasn't the only one who used to like to play Reindeer Games.

Child on Christmas Eve

Lost santa and reindeer.

'If you ever need any help with your bookkeeping, I got an A in arithmetic!'

'...and it absolutely must be assembled!'

Santa Claus uses drones to deliver presents on Christmas.

"We love Santa, but Santa didn't know as much about investing as he thought he did."

'They can be a real menace at this time of year.'

"It's just temporary, Comet, until Rudolph feels better."

Naughty-ometer.

'He says he's a friend of the Santa Claus.'

Santa asks man if cholesterol is naught or nice.

Slay Ride.

Santa uses reindeer parts.

Really? Santa won't stop at your house if you're not asleep on Christmas eve? That sounds like a sort of entrapment to me!

'I've got some good news and some bad news. The bad news is Wally fell into the sanding machine. The good news is he's nice and smooth.'

Santa: 'Of course I'm a vampire! How else could I have lived for 300 years?'