Santa Gifts

'I've been good. Let's just leave it at that. My lawyer has advised me not to answer any more questions.'

"Of course, I'm willing to negotiate. . ."

"I can forgive all those years of not bringing me a pony but you're not leaving until I get a new motorcycle."

Cranston called in sick ... said he's got the 'Bah, Humbug'.'

'He promised me everything. He must have presidential ambitions.'

"He must be a South Pole elf..."

"Hold on fellas! It looks they're in need of my expertise."

Countless cookies and glasses of milk don't mix well with Toledo turbulence!"

"Maybe this year..."

Xmas

The Bi-Polar Express.

"Yob culture has a lot to answer for - he's been binge drinking on sherry."

Santa sits in the waiting room of a Weight Loss Clinic with other large people.

You Will Have a Merry Christmas. . . Resistance is Futile.

He's just been told that due to increased infrastructural costs we're being relaocated to Swindon.

'I think it has something to do with global warming.'

'Santa Clause would never of fitted through that fireplace, so I've widened it.'

'Father Christmas regrets to inform you that your application for presents has been unsuccessful on this occasion.'

Santa Claus's Mail

Sana's Back with his soot eating grin.

High security Santa's grotto

"A GPS! Thanks guys! It's exactly what I need to guide my sleigh...you know, in light of that unfortunate hunting accident."

Elfie Stick

"I'm sorry, but my costs were way out of control."

"I prefer to talk to Mrs. Claus. She doesn't care if I'm naughty or nice."

'How's the gene-splicing going? Cloned any new hepatitis antibodies?'

"I admire your enthusiasm, but you’re not really flying."

"I can't imagine why we didn't think of this before."

Little girl hoses down walkway as Santa slips and falls

'I've got no problem with December, but what do I blog about the rest of the year?'

"I'll get my 10,000 steps in tonight!"

"Anything but milk and cookies."

Santa in the Sky: Happy Holidays!

"Whoa. There's a huge crack down here." "Tell me about it."

'This year I'm deliverying everything FedEx!'