Sanitation Supervisor Pillows

"Listen, you're perfectly safe - it's only a slight cold."

"You're invited to our management excursion. Come dresses as a pinata."

"So what kind of mood is he in?"

'Surely you wouldn't want me to laugh at your joke if I didn't think it was funny!'

'What sort of mission statement is that?'

'It's a chart of office morale. This is where you went on vacation.'

'I'll be late for dinner, dear. I'm up to my neck in paperwork.'

"I don't want a G.O.A.T, I want a S.C.A.P.E.G.O.A.T."

So which rung are you on my corporate ladder?

...And he calls himself the 'Green' Giant...

In/Out/These Things Happen.

Others will fight for you

'Yes, I know there's a deadline on this project.'

Businessman on stilts: 'I had to step over a lot of people to get where I am today.'

'Your resume is a little thin, but I like your willingness to be manipulated by upper management.'

'I hate leaving work when I feel I could have delegated more.'

'Don't think of it as being a yes man, think of it as being an employed man.'

"It's a memo from the legal department reminding us to (heh-heh), 'keep our noses clean'."

"I believe we've found the weakest link."

Boss's Desk Says No!

'No, your guess isn't as good as mine.'

'Let me worry about the one percent inspiration, you just take care of the 99 percent perspiration.'

"Don't flutter your little wings on company time."

"I'm going to need a little more for the root cause than, who'da thunk."

I'm going to practice on you before I start managing other people.

"He's not really much of a leader...he just has a lot of followers."

'A few more years in this job and you'll learn how to delegate stress.'

At first I thought it was just coincidence, but then I realized it corresponded directly to your shift.

A disgruntled employee chain-sawes hois boss's desk in two.Boss says:'Alright Smith, I'll stop referring to the employees as 'oopsy daisies'.'

Biofelineism

"Well the good news is that after the reorganisation you'll be leading the team."

Working hours.

"Remember...when the going gets tough...DELEGATE!"

Man sees sign as he exits bathroom: 'Employees Often Wash Hands'.

'If corporate lawyers are a dime a dozen, where are the other ten?'