Samurai Movie Watcher T-Shirts

"Typical !, You wait here ages for a samuri and then seven come all at once."

'You forget, I'm a blackbelt in powerpoint.'

'Or we could just ask her what kind of dog it is.'

Airport. Luggage. Baggage. Traveling used to be much less complicated.

'Who do you think you're kidding, Slim? — the ruby slippers are a dead giveaway!'

The Shed Mystery: 'Ah! There you are! Ok, that's enough...time to go ho...uh...wait...what the...?'

"Can't we ride off in another direction?"

Decapitated coffee.

'At last, the newly discovered films of Woody Alien.'

Hollywood producer.

"Remember—we're not Eagles fans or Patriots fans. We're Tom Brady Somehow Gets Humiliated fans."

"The checkout clerk will now testily remind you to press 'ok'."

'She got all the soap opera channels at a discount -- it's some kind of 'frequent cryer' program.'

Animal Actors

'Here's one I made earlier.'

“So let me get this straight: George Clooney isn’t your leader?”

Honour Being Served 'Apps at Dawn'.

Of all the gin joints in the world, you are here.

'Are you going to answer my text message or not?'

Gypsy curses didn't seem so threatening after the Mummy went into the peg business.

'A nutcracker? Admit it, Fred, you're getting old.'

"Nowadays, it's all about who you know, not what you know."

"Read the book!""See the movie!"

No one ever tried to rob the Samurai Bank.

'Hey...here's a hot prospect...likes catching frisbees, chasing squirrels, rolling in smelly stuff...'

And here is the day's news that we are going shove down your throat.

"[UNABLE TO PROCESS THIS IMAGE]"

Animation Film Festival. Great, now I have a toon stuck in my head.

"Gracie, if we want to see more Latinos in film, we need to support Latino films. When a movie comes out with Latino stars and Latino story, we need to go see it."

When Farmer Harry Met Farmer Sally.

'It's a rare sighting of a red squirrel.'

Today isn't a good day. He's talking to New York now, then he's got a board meeting, after that there's an old Betty Grable film on TV.

"The only thing that stops a bad shark is a good shark."

"I have a few questions, Miss Haspel, about your fitness to serve as the director of the C.I.A."

In a twist on "It's A Wonderful Life," sometimes I wonder what the world would have been like if I HAD existed.