Salon Seeker Pillows

"Anything in there about when the hair stylists' strike will end?"

'So tell me more about your mother...'

'You made me too beautiful!'

"Couldn't you have waited till she was smiling before you injected the botox?"

"So what's your success rate?"

'Something for the weekend, Sir?'

'Now that I've lost weight, I can't afford new clothes in my size.'

The adoration of the gels.

Two women wearing identical dresses head toward exchange window at department store.

"Can you make wishes on fake eyelashes?"

"Oh to be young and in love and wear things cut on the bias."

'Awright...Who's the dirty, lowdown varmint who's copyin' my plaid-shirt-and-stone-wash-jeans-with-matching-boots-and-vest ensemble?'

"And now. . . which shoes?"

Pampered and poodled.

Life Store Guide: Make-up and jewellery

Shoe addict.

'These fit just right. Do you have anything too tight?'

"I can never get my sunglasses on my head the way my hairdresser does"

"If the economy's ground to a halt, we can help by carrying on shopping."

Mister Pretty Shoes

'They've certainly got designs on your purse!'

"Are you looking to accentuate or camouflage?"

Goldilocks and the seventeen black shoulder bags

'Sure I'm late. . . I not only have to get ready for school. . . now I have to get ready in case some idiot takes my picture for YouTube.'

"Let's try for dignified yet playful, while maintaining the spirit of preservation."

The Coiffing - to Illustrate poem 'The Ballad of a Barber'

"I don't like your application."

"Some fitting room. Nothing fits!"

"Do you do much walking?"

"It's really quite simple: Shave off the soul patch and the car is yours."

"I feel there's a whole culture around mules."

'I'll take it!'

A member of a very populous consumer group attempts to go shopping...

"You won't believe this but I haven't a thing to wear"

"Of course, lots of women are just going bare-headed."