Sales Strategy Fan T-Shirts

'You may have found more new customers than the other salesmen, but your profits are too small! Stop just pulling in peanuts, Barry!'

Larry's used art

'Maybe we need new profit charts?'

Brick Salesman

"Post holiday sales look similar to the crater that killed the dinosaurs."

'Jones, somewhere out there, we've lost our common sense. I want you to go and bring it back.'

'Hank here brings 10 years of top sales experience to our company so let's all try to make him feel welcome while he makes you all look bad...'

'Well Miss Hayward, your suggestion of trying Feng Shui didn't work.'

'Rabner is tops in customer retention.'

"We're targeting a specific demographic: the utterly clueless."

'Thanks for the order, Mr Barnes and I want you to think of me as your friend.'

'Our profit dropped because half of our salesmen are in 'How to increase the profit' - training, sir.'

Carrot & nose on sticks.

'I lost my shoe, but I got my foot in the door.'

Sales Exit.

"As you can see, it's pretty simple - just find the customer and make him buy."

"Trust me—sex sells."

Domino Effect of Rising Gas Prices.

"He's just come back from a 'managing stress' course...He learnt all sorts of strategies for dealing with pressure...maybe he could show us some of them if he ever wakes up."

'You are lucky, I've already refused to see five salesmen this morning.'

"Unfortunately, we lost the notes on this portion of our sales strategy."

"Let's make stuff and sell it to people."

'He absolutely demanded a deal. But I was able to satisfy him by doubling the price and then cutting it in half.'

"For Christmas, Santa is bringing sales in at plan."

"The Sales Department suggests we teach Customer Service personnel how to assist customers without telling them where to go."

Marv's Preowned Vehicles...That new car smell can kill you! - Buy Used!

"All our phone sales staff are free range."

'They say a fool and his money are soon parted. Here's a list of fools. Make it happen.'

"My hunch is heads will roll."

'It worked. We expressed remorse, asked for forgiveness and sales are up sixty percent.'

"Yeah, but what's the hook?"

'I have good idea of how to improve our sales team.' - 'Great, when are you leaving?'

I'm sorry - could you run that past me again?

"It means a chieftain tank of petrol."

'Go to the bank and see if it's still there'