Sales Strategies T-Shirts

"We're changing our sales plan. From now on, instead of trying to get lots of customers, we're going to find just one really,really rich person to buy a whole lot of stuff."

Sales Exit.

"The Sales Department suggests we teach Customer Service personnel how to assist customers without telling them where to go."

"If the new marketing campaign, the new business concept and the new sales strategy doesn't work we still have plan B: We sacrifice a goat."

'Jones, somewhere out there, we've lost our common sense. I want you to go and bring it back.'

"It means a chieftain tank of petrol."

Pushy Salesmen

"I like it. Subtle, dignified, yet persuasive."

"...And it was only driven to church on Sunday, by a little old lady! We...It was a rough neighbourhood!"

"Trying to improve customer loyalty is okay, but kidnapping customers and locking them in your cellar is not the right way to go about it."

"Oh, so your next door neighbour was right... She said you wouldn't be able to afford one."

'This is my brilliant concept for a maximum return with zero employment costs! The customers give money to us but we don't give them any products!'

'Steve is our top salesperson. His secret is spending time visualizing success before he comes to work.'

"Trust me—sex sells."

'May I call you 'Wally'?'

'Her approach is very direct.'

'Well Miss Hayward, your suggestion of trying Feng Shui didn't work.'

Cats-can-sell anything advertising agency.

'Bill never likes to lose a customer!'

'Mr DeVries is here to kiss your feet and show his sales prognosis.'

'It's my own stupid fault. I've been told never to make a customer laugh while he's talking to me on the phone, drinking his coffee.'

"Whilst I appreciate the vacuum demonstration, I do not wish to have my late mother's ashes on my new carpet!"

Larry's used art

'I vote we hang the darn thing upside down and go home!'

"Now that I have everyone's attention..."

"Great! We're still going up! Chop a hole in the ceiling!"

"Jill Hamster's entrepreneurial disaster"

Sales.

'We have to go global since nobody around here will buy our product.'

'I understand this was the day you seized, Ferguson?'

'Maybe we need new profit charts?'

Gerald Ratner's return

'What's the concept? I'm not sure what you're trying to say, Ms. Harris.'

Brick Salesman

Sales Chart: Boomerangs LTD