Sales Presentation Ponderer T-Shirts

'Could you come back next week and demonstrate it yet again?'

"Maybe now, we could look at customer care'?"

'I vote we hang the darn thing upside down and go home!'

The Department of Blind-Side Bias, Knowledge Gaps and Really Great Coffee.

'I play so hard that I have no time to work hard.'

'Can he call you back? He's taking time to stop and smell the profits.'

'We've financed three more startups for no fathomable reason.'

"Dave, could you hold on a sec while I take care of some personal business?"

"As you can see, sales have been a little erratic lately..."

"At least we are consistently inconsistent."

'We need to have a shake-up!'

'How come, unlike some other bosses, you never surprise me with little promotions?'

'I sometimes wonder if these endless meetings accomplish anything.'

'Perkins, you really know to suck the joy out of a 3rd quarter report.'

Annual Stockholders' Meeting: Take some tissues.

'Maybe we need new profit charts?'

Experience-Productivity Ratio / Age-Salary Ratio.

"Firing is too good for you, Mike. I'm going to give you MY job instead!"

"Gosh, 'inept' seems so harsh. Personally, I prefer the term 'productivity-challenged!'"

'I never wanted the best years of your life Clayton - just a few good days would do.'

"The trouble is, professor, you see the Erlenmeyer flask half empty and I see it half full."

'Marry me, and make me the happiest man in the world.' 'You want BOTH?!'

"We could try 'gravity' as an excuse."

'Our basic package is no frills, no chew toys, no extra Kibbles, and narry a pat on the head from management...'

"Profits. Good thing or the greatest thing?"

'For P.R. purposes, let's use the phrase, 'uncanny luck' rather than 'dumb luck'.'

'This isn't a non-profit-making organization you know! Or at least, it wasn't until you started working here!'

'Contested elections for managing partner are always going to cause a bit of upset.'

How do you fell about buying your own health insurance?

Objects in mirror bear no relation to reality.

business

'In other words, statistics prove that statisticians aren't always right.'

'I'm a 100% consistent investor. I buy bonds when I should buy stocks when I should buy bonds.'

'I think I know what the problem is!'

'After months of analysing, we found out how to stop your downgoing profits: just find more customers who want to buy your products.'