Sales Presentation Ponderer T-Shirts

'Could you come back next week and demonstrate it yet again?'

"Maybe now, we could look at customer care'?"

'I vote we hang the darn thing upside down and go home!'

The Department of Blind-Side Bias, Knowledge Gaps and Really Great Coffee.

'I play so hard that I have no time to work hard.'

'Can he call you back? He's taking time to stop and smell the profits.'

Annual profits,

'We've financed three more startups for no fathomable reason.'

"Dave, could you hold on a sec while I take care of some personal business?"

"As you can see, sales have been a little erratic lately..."

"At least we are consistently inconsistent."

'We need to have a shake-up!'

'Perkins, you really know to suck the joy out of a 3rd quarter report.'

'I sometimes wonder if these endless meetings accomplish anything.'

'How come, unlike some other bosses, you never surprise me with little promotions?'

Annual Stockholders' Meeting: Take some tissues.

'Maybe we need new profit charts?'

Experience-Productivity Ratio / Age-Salary Ratio.

"Gosh, 'inept' seems so harsh. Personally, I prefer the term 'productivity-challenged!'"

'I never wanted the best years of your life Clayton - just a few good days would do.'

"Firing is too good for you, Mike. I'm going to give you MY job instead!"

"The trouble is, professor, you see the Erlenmeyer flask half empty and I see it half full."

'Marry me, and make me the happiest man in the world.' 'You want BOTH?!'

"We could try 'gravity' as an excuse."

"Profits. Good thing or the greatest thing?"

'Our basic package is no frills, no chew toys, no extra Kibbles, and narry a pat on the head from management...'

Objects in mirror bear no relation to reality.

How do you fell about buying your own health insurance?

'This isn't a non-profit-making organization you know! Or at least, it wasn't until you started working here!'

'For P.R. purposes, let's use the phrase, 'uncanny luck' rather than 'dumb luck'.'

business

'Contested elections for managing partner are always going to cause a bit of upset.'

'In other words, statistics prove that statisticians aren't always right.'

'I'm a 100% consistent investor. I buy bonds when I should buy stocks when I should buy bonds.'

'I think I know what the problem is!'