Sales Performance Analyst Gifts

Businessman has in/out boxes labeled: Stay The Course and Cut And Run.

'I should not that the cherry and whipped cream were an afterthought created by our graphics dept.'

'I vote we hang the darn thing upside down and go home!'

"Now that I have everyone's attention..."

"Great! We're still going up! Chop a hole in the ceiling!"

"Jill Hamster's entrepreneurial disaster"

'What do you do with the time you save?'

It would be a painful forty five minutes before Arthur finally admitted he left his presentation at home.

Four Types of Test-Takers...

'If by 'great', you mean 'terrible', then yes, we have plenty of great beers for under $4.00 a six-pack.'

"Yes, you have given 100% to this company. But, over the five years you've worked here that's only 20% a year."

The Salesman

'We're holding our own, but I'd really like to see some growth.'

"It's a 'Black eye friday'. I got it in a fight over a 56 inch TV."

'Dog eat dog.'

"Al, you've been chosen Businessman of the Year by the Junior Chamber of Commerce."

"Here comes a client I must speak to. Excuse me while I slip into some jargon."

With the aid of a tactical dictionary, and was finally able to make sense of what the salesman was saying.

'We must grasp this new opportunity'

Sales.

Real Estate Krisp Flakes: Location! Location! Location!

"Hey! Plants are on sale again! Woo-hoo!"

"How's this for transparency: Our product isn't organic but our bullshit advertising it!"

'We have to go global since nobody around here will buy our product.'

'Our most successful e-mail campaign was an offer to take customers off our e-mail list.'

"Remember that optimistic, slightly crazy, throw a dart at the wall forecast? We beat it."

'I understand this was the day you seized, Ferguson?'

"It all looks fine to me."

'We raised the price, so at least as far as we're concerned it's new and improved.'

"You're a shark! You're a killer! Nothing can stop you! Now get back in that boardroom and apologize."

Sales Chart: Boomerangs LTD

"I know R&D feels that the product warrants at least two 'really'."

Gerald Ratner's return

"While you make the sales presentation, Monica. I'll scope out the room and try to identify this company's Achilles heel!"

Good morning, Boss. What're you going to do about it, Park? Are you just going to complain, or are you going to come up with an actionable plan. Complainers never do, Park, and doers never complain. I wasn't actually complaining. Our patrons buy 65% less cocoa on sunny days.