Sales Director Gifts

"Come in, Timpson. I'd love to hear your opinions of the new marketing strategy - so long as they don't clash with mine."

"I'm going to bombard you with graphs until you agree with me."

Sales at the Yo-Yo Co.

"And it was at this point that we stopped trying to innovate and started copying our competitors instead."

'If only every year was an election year.'

"As you can see, it's pretty simple - just find the customer and make him buy."

'The cash bonus incentives don't appear to be having the desired results. So, I've hired Rocky, here. He'll be providing the heads of the least productive departments with his own brand of incentive. If you know what I mean.'

Selling oil to the arabs - "I told you our sales manager was good."

"I'm not looking forward to telling the 300 salesmen we're going to start selling on the internet."

"Whereas we used to display losses in shocking and offensive red, we now display them in warm and comforting toasted almond."

'Cohiba is written on here with a Sharpie.'

"Why does it always have to represent something?"

'No, he's not at his desk - have you tried the ledge outside?

'Who wants the talking stick?'

Sales tied in knots

"I TOLD you all to sell more stuff and make a huge profit. . . DO I have to micromanage everything!"

"Things are looking grim Jenkins, get someone in to start chewing my nails for me."

'We're making the package 10% smaller.'

"All we have to fear is fear itself and unmet quarterly projections."

The Rubber Ball Company

I'm looking for somebody honest, but not scrupulously honest.

"#Win!"

"Honest, J.B., I don't think that little girl's lemonade stand on Cerritos Street will hurt our business!"

'Much like my hairline and waistline, our numbers are trending in the wrong direction.'

'As you know Fenton, we have branch offices in some pretty remote parts of the world...'

"Bert, I'm confused. What happens after we circle the wagons, tighten our belts and walk a mile in our customer's shoes? Is that when the chickens come home to roost?"

'I admit the reception to our new products has been chilly.'

'Sire, we fixed that problem in the sales department.'

'Hey, I've got an idea. Let's try making a profit.'

'To be honest, I did expect a better bonus this year.'

Female Boss 4

Pin the blame on the donkey.

"You've got your corner office, so what more do you want?"

"Remember the golden rule: more buzzwords, less real words."

'You forget, I'm a blackbelt in powerpoint.'