Salary Sleuth Pillows

'Looks like we'll bring your project in under budget. We were able to do it by not paying you.'

"I know the symptoms are depressing... but it's nothing to worry about, he's just trying to work out what the new pay award means!"

"Is this about your raise?"

The trouble with working for a multi-national company

"She's always like this at this time of the month,short tempered, insecure,anxious,questioning why she does the job!" "PMT?" "Wageslip!"

'A day has got 24 hours. You're working here just 8 hours a day. That's why I cut down your salary by two thirds.'

'If that's the going salary, then what's the starting salary?'

'You've lost weight. Has your boss put you on a diet?'

"I just realized my wife gets more on unemployment than I make working here!"

"It's good you don't care about the money because this job doesn't pay any!"

"No Jenkins, that's NOT a sales graph - it's my salary increase."

"I hear he's getting six figures a year."

"I've reviewed your salary with other senior managers in Tuktoyaktuk and it seems we've been paying you too much."

'You're asking for money? Now you're really pushing it.'

"How come politicians don't earn mimimum wage. If anybody does minimum work, it's them."

"If I made as much as him, I could retire in a couple of days"

'Okay, it's your last chance to come clean before I call your previous employer and confirm your leaving salary.'

'After deductions you owe us forty two pounds.'

'You're right? How did you know I didn't get a raise?'

'Yes, son, I make a good living, but not good enough to attract arm candy.'

"That's not a progress chart, that's the bosses salary chart!"

'Ms Button, do some research and find out why my bonus isn't as big as Clydesdale's...'

"The position on offer comes with a seven figure income. ?12,469.37."

'Hey you're right! That's more money than I made when I was a brain surgeon.'

"You'll be working entirely on commission. We were kidding about the salary."

'We can start you off with a weekly salary in the four figures...two if you don't count the decimal.'

'That day I promised you a raise... I was heavily medicated.'

'It's only a hunch, but I think everybody bought everything they needed, last time.'

British savings accounts

"Wait a sec, I have a coupon around here somewhere."

"That new drug causes flatulence."

Maybe it's now time to review our customer care strategy!"

"So much for password protected."

'And I want that end table for $40...' When bargain hunters crack.

"Dad, wouldn't my allowance be better off earning interest in a tax free municipal bond fund?"