Salary Discussions Gifts

We're prepared to offer you a starting salary in the low six figures...if you count the decimal.

"Why yes, there was an extra five thousand dollars in my pay check last week...er...I thought it was a raise."

'I'll review your salary next spring.'

'I'll be honest with you. The pay isn't great.'

"Guess how long it's been since I've had a salary increase."

'I may be an incurable optimist, but I think I can get a raise out of ol' J.P.'

'If CEO pay packets aren't a problem, why doesn't everyone get one?'

'I don't get the money I'm worth!'

'A tip jar does not constitute a raise!'

Think Big - 'I want a rise - a big one.'

"The unions are ALWAYS moaning about the amount top management get paid. They don't understand the stress involved in dealing with HUGE, MASSIVE amounts of money!"

"Stock options for your thoughts."

'Salaries Manager. No.'

The Evolution of the Bonus

"My salary app pings when another new male exec at my level is making more than 77% of what I make."

'We'd like to pay you what you're worth, too, Fenstrom. Unfortunately we must conform to the minimum wage law.'

'Foster's here, regarding his raise sir. Shall I have him crawl in now, or let him sweat a while?'

"Is this about your raise?"

'I like the part of your resume where you didn't ask for a raise for 10 years.'

'Are you picky about preferring something with a livable wage?'

The state off graduates literacy levels is shoking and both my coleegues agree that there maths isn't much better!

"So do I take it that's a 'NO' to the pay rise?"

'Was my salary expectation a bit too high?'

'You've been with the company for 20 years Harvey, you make an excellent wage, get 4 weeks paid vacation... I'm going to have to let you go.'

"To be honest the culture sucks, but the pay is amazing."

'What would you say to a salary increase?'

',,,and you can name your salary as long as it falls within our range of underpaid employees,'

Today's Sermon: We come into this world with nothing and we leave with nothing. Is there any chance of a bailout?

"We were poor and had the good sense to be miserable."

'It's true that money can't buy everything, Caldwell, but it's not healthy to dwell on it.'

"Will you two stop giggling every time I say 'assets'?"

"I'd like a raise, I can't afford to binge drink on what you pay me."

'You get paid for what you produce at work not what you produce at home.'

'No sir, I said could I have an increase in SALARY.'

'Guess who's hinting for a raise?'