Salary Negotiations Gifts

"Is this about your raise?"

Thank You for Not Bringing Up My Salary

'The position sounds interesting, but my last job paid more coconuts.'

Tired of long hours and lousy pay, Bob begins a work-to-rule campaign.

"Stock options for your thoughts."

"I've never said this to a woman before, but here goes: We're not paying you enough."

'Salaries Manager. No.'

The Evolution of the Bonus

"My salary app pings when another new male exec at my level is making more than 77% of what I make."

'We'd like to pay you what you're worth, too, Fenstrom. Unfortunately we must conform to the minimum wage law.'

"Why yes, there was an extra five thousand dollars in my pay check last week...er...I thought it was a raise."

'I'll be honest with you. The pay isn't great.'

'Foster's here, regarding his raise sir. Shall I have him crawl in now, or let him sweat a while?'

'I'll review your salary next spring.'

'I like the part of your resume where you didn't ask for a raise for 10 years.'

"To be clear you are willing to labor under misconceptions?"

'Are you picky about preferring something with a livable wage?'

'Was my salary expectation a bit too high?'

"...That's agreed then, we raise our salaries by 40%..."

"To be honest the culture sucks, but the pay is amazing."

'What would you say to a salary increase?'

',,,and you can name your salary as long as it falls within our range of underpaid employees,'

'If CEO pay packets aren't a problem, why doesn't everyone get one?'

"I'd like a raise, I can't afford to binge drink on what you pay me."

Think Big - 'I want a rise - a big one.'

"You look perfectly suited for managing on the pigeons have a salary that goes with the job!"

'No sir, I said could I have an increase in SALARY.'

'Guess who's hinting for a raise?'

'You're asking for money? Now you're really pushing it.'

What motivates you? Apart from earning enough money to keep me alive?

'I may be an incurable optimist, but I think I can get a raise out of ol' J.P.'

We're prepared to offer you a starting salary in the low six figures...if you count the decimal.

'Actually, Carruthers, if you take the world average income, you're grossly overpaid.'

"I never ask for a raise any more. I just hack into the boss's computer and give myself one."

"A delightful arrangement Miss Chalmers..."