Salad Spinner Gifts

'Congratulations on your 100% plant-based diet. I'm referring you to a botanist.'

Vinegary salads are a small price to pay for boycotting the oil industry.

"Getting drunk grilling lettuce just isn't the same."

'Like death by salad.'

"You know how it is, one minute I'm selling insurance in South Dakota and the next minute I have a hook for a hand. How about you?"

Fish talking about fisherman

"Waiter, there's a hare in my salad!"

Noel Coward.

'I realize it's not on the menu but I'm on a diet and I'd like an air fern salad.'

"He says that when he had a vegetable salad as an appetizer, he can now have burgers, pizza and Coke as a reward."

Grimm's Fairytales - Title Page

'Thank you waiter - my wife's the rabbit.'

'Staffers don't report we're managing decline. They report we met our targets and did out job!'

300 cows in a field...grazing!

"Oh No!!!...Cap'n...Iceberg...Dead ahead!!"

fairy tales

"More croutons, sir?"

Cinema with a salad bar in its lobby.

How do I love thee? Let me count the ways … Open Mike Night Presents Sadie Cohen. I love thee to the depth and breadth and height my ladle can reach … When feeling hungry for the crunch of crouton and ideal lettuce. I love thee to the level of every day's most quiet need ... by cheesy bread and chicken wing. I love thee freely, as men strive for right. I eat of thee freely, and then, at four, 'tis goodnight. O Sizzler salad bar, how do I love thee? I'm hungry.

Ranch Dressing

'If a tomato is a fruit, why don't you get it in fruit salad?'

Free salad bar.

"Good morning, Mother! We made you a desk salad."

"How's my wife doing in the discus tryouts? I can tell you that, at home, she's hell on wheels with saucers and plates."

'I must admit, this family reunion hasn't really lived up to my expectations.'

'Hold on, pal! Who's in control of the narrative here?'

"I'll just have a small salad. . . say 400 pounds of fresh river vegetation."

"Might I recommend one of our salads? They come with three of your companion's fries."

The Perfect Garden.

'R.I.P. Van Winkle, just sleeping.'

I guess Grandpa was once a wise king, too. He always says he does his best thinking on the throne.

I was able to get you a 2-book deal.

Yes, the salad was vegan. In fact, we even offered it first to all the bunnies in the area, each of whom insisted that, no, he was quite full, and he'd like you to have it.

All you can eat salad bar has lifetime price.

"I want a big-a*s salad."